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Against Autumn

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  • Against Autumn

    We burned down a field together
    When we were six
    The pranks of children exaggerated
    Through time

    The memory of a lucid sun
    That day
    Spilling the pallor
    Of smoke
    Over the gold flaked ground

    The misnomers of fear
    Burrs nettles and spider webs
    Disrupted by
    The crackling of twigs

    I remember
    Her tightly braided black hair
    Two pennants heralding
    The loss of innocence

    As I ran away
    With saffron berries
    In my hands

  • #2
    Nice! This nostalgic picture you so vividly painted seemed lovely and light-hearted throughout my first read. However, it turned a bit heavier the second time, into a thoughtful quiet mourning over times long gone... I like how it hints at the peculiar mechanisms by which memories are altered and the importance of some details grow over time. I also like how you saved the berries in the end. You didn't drop them!? That would have been totally awesome when I was six!


    • #3
      Pyro, this is a true story from my childhood. The fire was started in a vacant lot behind our property which was quite big for being in a city. 2 Firetrucks came (if I remember correctly). My parents, especially my father, were not pleased. I think I was so scared running away that I crushed the berries in my hand.


      • Pyro
        Pyro commented
        Editing a comment
        Not pleased sounds gentle... A good story to remember though. Bet it taught you not to play with fire

    • #4
      Wistfully reminiscent.


      • #5
        Very nicely reminisced Tanner. It is the detail which most delights my ear.


        • #6
          Gorgeously imagined, vivid memoir and mirror, Tanner! Top drawer.


          • #7
            A delightful reminiscence, Tanner.
            These lines particularly excite me

            I remember
            Her tightly braided black hair
            Two pennants heralding
            The loss of innocence

            You way of description is magical and is unique to you. It resonates throughout this magnificent piece.