Play Acting

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Play Acting

tender kiss cascade
after mating ritual
never would reveal
knavish heart of false desire
aping all that came before



©RhymeLovingWriter 2016

[MHenry]

This is like a senryu dressed as a tanka, or a wolf in sheep's clothing. It flows smoothly and the word choice is again impeccable, RLW! I love 'knavish heart!'

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Oh gees - I thought I was finally writing a tanka. Now it's a senryu? Apparently I am still confused between the two. Thank you for the elucidation - and the like - and the very nice comment! I'm kind of partial to 'knavish heart' myself!

[MHenry]

Haha, These are thin lines. I could be way off base here. I just learned about senryu from Suz-zen last week. In any case, I don't think it's a bad thing. If you read about it on some web sites, it seems even the experts can't always tell the difference between a senryu and a haiku.

[MHenry]

I guess I should have been more precise in my comment. I feel this is a tanka with a senryu inside it, due to the human foible aspect.

[AlexandratheLate]

Nicely done RLW.

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Thank you again Alex! Appreciate your comment, and liking the poem!

[Suz-zen]

I like this poem RhymeLovingWriter !! wonderfully lyrical- paints a lovely picture! love the kiss cascade! I think more Tanka than Senryu? PotAto PoTAHo?


Senyu have three lines with 17 or fewer total syllable
Haiku vs Senryū
Senryu tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature,and Senryū are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are more serious. (from online publication)


My Tanka 'cheatsheet'

Line one - 5 syllables	Beautiful mountains
Line two - 7 syllables	Rivers with cold, cold water.
Line three - 5 syllable	White cold snow on rocks
Line four - 7 syllables	Trees over the place with frost
Line five - 7 syllables	White sparkly snow everywhere.

Tanka 1200 years ago

[MHenry]

You can't argue with the people who created the form!

[Suz-zen]

well you could.... some folks get paid to do it!

[lunar glide]

brilliant! yes knavish heart got me too.

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Thanks LG - I needed a word to start with 'K' as I was so bent on writing a tanka that I made the first letters of each line start with one of the letters that spelled out 'tanka'! I believe that's a device I first learned from Parkinsonspoet's...or was it Suz-zen? Not sure anymore, but I liked the idea so tried it on for size again.

[MHenry]

Haha! I didn't notice that, RLW! clever!