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  • untitlted

    Clouds float down the aisle
    One by one by one
    masquerading blinders
    to a path
    colors pastel mingle where before only blue
    majesty of what some call Heaven on Earth
    Light glows golden, deep voices boom
    inhaling incense,
    nonsense?
    heads bowed
    fingers fidget
    just one looks up; open arms
    Waits
    doubts
    Cumulus color
    Hear laughter, see the sunset

    or is it the Risen?

  • #2
    The heavens majesty unfolded in the words of Saint Suz-zen, leaving us with wonderment and with questions! Love this, St.S, especially the deep voices and fidgeting fingers in the midst of all this majesty!

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      MHenry, I am not worthy of your high praise!! The Saint S is a 'coincidence' as the Church where the inspiration occurred is Saint Spyridon. Affectionately called Saint S by locals.

  • #3
    Born of meditation while in chapel (as in a building and/or as in life)? Speaks truth to beauty and ballast of the journey. Thanks Suz-zen.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      thank you RLW! Appreciate as always your appraisal. You got it.

  • #4
    I'm probably over thinking this but I want to spend more time with this verse before I comment

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you rhyme-t , would love to hear your thoughts. Am waiting to give my full disclosure on this one...i have been accused of spilling the beans too soon! Appreciate you reading. My poetry is inspired by reality and then goes deeper. always with metaphor...i may legally make that my middle name!

  • #5
    I very much enjoyed this. Watching the "clouds float down the aisle", the imagery made me think of a church wedding.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      yes Muttado 1sb. The young maidens ...

  • #6
    Sounds like an Orthodox church service. The last line makes me wonder whether it's Easter.

    Χριστὸς ἀνέστη ?

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Nothing makes a Greek family happier than to adopt WASP's into our fold, or anyone really! We are a 'vibrant' bunch. i love that about 'my people' and my family in particular who were not strictly religious. My grandmother who was born in a small village in Greece and came to America at the turn of the century detested the Church. She said she could go outside and say hello to the sun and her roses and the birds and thank God for the rain and her blessings (she was a farmer)... she refused a priest at her hospital bed... said she did not need him to talk to God on her behalf.

      I am glad that you have a good memory of the times with Greeks as hospitable people. Always good food, music and laughter! And let's not forget lots of poets from long long ago!

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      I love your grandmother's 'tude, Suz-zen, and the honesty of her unmediated gratitude for the good things.

    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      thank you grant hayes. My 'Yiayia' was an inspiration.

  • #7
    this speaks of a wedding to me.

    Comment


    • #8
      What a vivid image!

      Comment


      • Suz-zen
        Suz-zen commented
        Editing a comment
        thank you DWAYNE i drafted this in my head during the almost 2 hour ceremony.....

    • #9
      I think I was at that service! I had Quaker friends growing up in PA. Your poem made me think of them and how their religion seeks to eliminate forms that at times make no sense.

      Comment


      • Suz-zen
        Suz-zen commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi John, an interesting observation.It is difficult at best to try to make sense of it. I felt as though i had been transported back in time. While i think some 'rituals' do serve a purpose I am not comfortable with many.

    • #10
      Thank you all for reading and the comments! My' not so veiled poem' did have inspiration from a Greek wedding I attended on Sunday. Risen was a memory grant hayes from my younger days in the very same Church at Easter when they would turn off all of the lights and the moment when 'Christ would rise' the lights would suddenly blast back on. It would scare the heck out of me!! The entire congregation would say Christ has Risen!!
      MHenry the deep voices: 5 officiates at the ceremony.Including a bishop. Two nuns from a monastery who of course did not utter a peep. Try as i might i could not get my true Zen going. I fidgeted. Laughed inappropriately inside and little bit out loud at some of the pomp and circumstance.
      Muttado1sb As the bridesmaids, all wearing various pastel dresses and as lovely as a floating clouds passed me by I was transported out of the church and into the sky...So RhymeLovingWriter you got it here. I went to my meditation place. i had to or exit stage left! i reflected on life at a Universal level,my early upbringing in the Orthodox faith and how far I have traveled away from it and marriage, family. I wanted to add to the poem but could not make it fit a part about crossing my legs. this was a rule - NOT allowed for girls/women. As i sat in my pew observing almost 300 other guests the Greek women still do not cross their legs. 'disrespectful to God'.... uh yeah....'.inhaling incense,
      nonsense?'

      Sunset had a deeper meaning for me.

      As did the entire piece really. ...with 'masquerading blindness' the key.

      rhymetime if you think you overthink, meet me in the narthex!

      Comment


      • MHenry
        MHenry commented
        Editing a comment
        Great explanation Suz-zen, and really adds to the piece, showing how well-written it really is!

      • Suz-zen
        Suz-zen commented
        Editing a comment
        thanks MHenry... As i hit Post i was thinking, explanation is longer than the piece?? Maybe not so well written??

    • #11
      It looks like all of us who read perceived pieces of your poetic mosaic, Suz-zen, and here you help us to take a step back and appreciate the full image. The poem casts a potent spell, and your commentary makes it even more potent.

      On more than a few occasions, I have supplied commentary far longer than the poem itself in order to elucidate it. So I can relate to your sense of uncertainty about the effectiveness of the piece. But you need not feel that way. The fact that people are engaged and drawn in is the main thing.

      Comment


      • MHenry
        MHenry commented
        Editing a comment
        Agreed. The poem has condensed your meaning artfully, Suz-zen. To say much with little is the goal of all pith. A reduction sauce in verse!

      • Suz-zen
        Suz-zen commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you both.

    • #12
      Suz-Zen, sorry I'm late to the reception! You've obviously rocked the house with your write. Awesome!

      Comment

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