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All Turns to Dust

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  • All Turns to Dust

    All Turns to Dust

    The pounding ache
    Of hollowed brim
    Once hatted full
    Now free of trim

    The fleshy pale
    Striped fresh with cut
    Of claw and tooth
    From jaw to gut

    No victor’s spoil
    The bled remains
    Weep vapid tears
    In broken chains

    All turns to dust
    Swept back to sea
    Crawling vermin
    Or common flea

  • #2
    All turns to dust-All Mhenrys words a must-vivid imagery and a clear message- Buy a vacuum cleaner and hoover up the dust
    Last edited by Parkinsonspoet; 07-02-2016, 01:22 PM.

    Comment


    • MHenry
      MHenry commented
      Editing a comment
      As always, thanks for the visit and the supportive comments, Pp!

    • Parkinsonspoet
      Parkinsonspoet commented
      Editing a comment
      Sorry am in mischievous mood

  • #3
    You've harnessed the short line and rhyme to powerful effect, MHenry. The rhythm of this carrion hymn is seamless. Kudos!

    Comment


    • MHenry
      MHenry commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, grant Sensei, this is a new form for me (emulating, to the best of my ability certain aspects of your style of poetics), and I have put my toe in the water a couple of times now. Thankfully, the toe has come back whole and unbitten to this point, encouraging me to wade just a tad further (with just the toes of that one foot).

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Yes, I think you should definitely wade further.

  • #4
    Sharp, cutting diction, brilliantly utilized!

    Comment


    • MHenry
      MHenry commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, Dwayne, Experimenting with the form, and becoming more familiar.

  • #5
    it is a fight to the finish between this stanza
    The fleshy pale
    Striped fresh with cut
    Of claw and tooth
    From jaw to gut

    and this LINE:

    Weep vapid tears


    I love this MHenry love love love this!

    Comment


    • MHenry
      MHenry commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so much, Suz-zen, for your enthusiastic comments. You have graced this forum with your fine poetry, your ebullience, and your zeal! I am glad you are with us!

    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      I am nothing if not enthusiastic!
      that is awfully kind of you to say MHenry about gracing this forum... i am happy to be here with you all while learning, laughing, and living more deeply through our own wordly- labyrinths and finding our unique way out... Always a pleasure!

  • #6
    glad you are experimenting! I enjoy reading experiments as i enjoy rehearsals more than formal performances.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      I know what you mean about the rehearsals, lunar glide. I also like preparatory drawings better than the final work of art, often.

    • MHenry
      MHenry commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reading and commenting lg. This is an interesting comment you make. I've always been drawn to the rehearsed, formal, studio performance, but, like grant, I enjoy seeing the lines behind the finished painting. How was this masterpiece created? That is actually the pressing, burning question behind a work of art, once the stunned viewer recovers from what he/she has just seen or heard. Now, giving this more thought, I can see how watching a rehearsal would be rich in its own right, perhaps richer than the rehearsed performance, as you get to see the actor both as character and as vulnerable, imperfect, and insecure person. You get to witness the creative process - how the work of art builds, crumbles, rebuilds, sways, steadies, and finally stands an enduring monument to hard work, talent, and attention to detail.

      So, yes, I agree with you and grant, lg.

  • #7
    maybe this is the magic of rhyme zone
    it is a public rehearsal 😄

    Comment


    • #8
      Your experiment was a success. Love it MH!!

      Comment


      • MHenry
        MHenry commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you, Alexandra! This is a very accepting forum, and you are such a big part of it!

    • #9
      Succeeds in concept and execution. It had me wondering where you were going with it from the start. Now we vermin know we have little on the fleas,-- which I suspected all along. I like the short lines, they suit the piece perfectly. One of my favorites from you.

      Comment


      • MHenry
        MHenry commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you, John, for indulging and the very supportive comment. There is no reason you should know any better than I where this thing was going from the start!

    • #10
      It was a great piece! If this was experimenting you did awesome at it 😉

      Comment


      • MHenry
        MHenry commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks, Rach79! That is very kind of you to say!

    • #11
      The lion has ravaged the warrior and both lay down together, not one greater than the other. Ah yes in the dust

      Comment


      • MHenry
        MHenry commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for the look, The second, and the fine image accompaniment!
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