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  • Pssst! Over Here!

    Pssst! Over Here!

    I’ll lend you my ear – if you’d like to tell
    We’ll sit over here and all will be well

    Your secret is safe – I won’t tell a soul
    (except when the chafe has eaten me whole)

    If confidence bound is requisite term
    Some other old hound would cause you less squirm

    I mean to keep lip tight shut against leak
    but then I unzip and out pips the squeak

    The facts of your case no longer secure
    Me? Keep a secret? Can’t ever be sure.

    ©RhymeLovingWriter 2016

  • #2
    Very funny, RLW! 'Out pips the squeak'! How very charming!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      I don't even know if that makes sense - but I used to be called a 'pip-squeak' by my Dad when I was little so I'm sure that's from where it rises. Sometimes it's just good to have fun with words, you know?

    • MHenry
      MHenry commented
      Editing a comment
      It more than makes sense, it makes magical poetry!

  • #3
    I have known a few with this shortcoming.

    Well conveyed!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks Dwayne. I'm not all THAT bad - but I was feeling a need to write something lighter tonight and this fit the bill.

  • #4
    I'm with MH nice turn on 'out pips the squeak. Love that. Lol

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks AtL. It makes me smile to hear it!

  • #5
    but then I unzip and out pips the squeak

    Line from 'Little Willy's Lament'

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank goodness. Well, in that case...have you written it yet? The imaginary ribald ballad? Is it acceptable for the zone? Oh my gosh - I am such a ditz - I was thinking of unzipping a LIP Grant - you know, like the saying 'zip your lip' when you want someone to quiet down. I just realized the possible implication of that phrase when I was answering your comment. Perhaps I SHOULD take more time to review my work before posting.

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      It's just my occasionally puerile mind what did it, Rhymist.

    • MHenry
      MHenry commented
      Editing a comment
      Your comment is very clever and funny, grant Sensei! I missed the Little Willy's Lament reference, but now you've pointed it out, it is doubly hilarious!

  • #6
    Charming and fun!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks benjamin! I'm waiting to hear from Grant to see if I need an edit on the pip squeak line.

  • #7
    Well, I feel I need to chime in the 'p' word issue grant Sensei's humorous comment raised, and which caused temporary wrinkles and gray hairs to form on RLW's sainted crown.

    I have written pieces created of whole cloth, conceived entirely without prompt or outside reference. I look at them, I think, where have I seen that before? I have not memorized any poems. Up until a few weeks ago, I hadn't read any poems in decades (I am sad and embarrassed to say), save for RhymeZone poems and a few poems or poets called to my attention on the Zone in the past few months.

    So, why do the words look so familiar?

    Theories:

    1) Deja vu. You just wrote it, but some part of your mind seems to have forgotten that little detail. You've repeated it to yourself so many times, it's no wonder it seems familiar!

    2) Common phrasing. You used it, and so did others before you, perhaps slightly modified, maybe or maybe not verbatim (e.g., furrrowed brow, masts and sails). Last night, I read a line in Magic Casements that was much like a line in A Man of Substance - means all the world to a man like me. Naturally, I did not coin the phrase, means all the world.

    3) Deep impression. Something impressed long ago and it stuck in your mind. Not verbatim, necessarily. You wrote it without referring to the original source. You may not even know where or when you heard or read it. As I recall from High School, if you write an idea in your own words, even if it is not your idea, it is not plagiarism, unless you claim the idea as your own, I suppose. Even then, you cannot copyright ideas, can you?

    I welcome other thoughts, as I am sure the issue of plagiarism is always lurking in the minds of writers.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks MHenry - it's only my slow-witted naivete that had me missing Grant's quite witty reference. I don't know why - my husband and I banter like that all the time. Perhaps because I just got back to town a few hours ago and was so anxious to see what is happening in the zone that I wasn't firing on all cylinders yet to catch the reference. It was his quotation marks (which can also be used to set off a phrase - I know) that threw me I think, since I often put titles in quotation marks to avoid messing with underlining (BTW - I don't see any formatting tools in the box when posting a reply to another comment). Anyway, I think your theories are valid ones and would also be interested to see what other poets think about this. Thanks for getting it started!

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      I have memorised not a few poems, and read many more, some almost obsessively. It is inevitable that there is a risk of unconsciously regurgitating something one has read. Songwriters have the same problem with passages of music. It's an occupational hazard, no way around it. The best way to avoid it is to work assiduously to develop one's own voice, and search for new ways to use perfectly ordinary words.
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