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Looking with Closed Eyes

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  • Looking with Closed Eyes

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    Last edited by Sumyanna; 07-17-2016, 08:32 AM.

  • #2
    The thing that makes this seashore encounter particularly affecting is the way you've framed it: as something visualised at the prompting of another, and placed in the past: the memory of a visualisation of a vividly tangible setting. I find that fascinating, Sumyanna. And you close it with a fusion of the memory with your body, waves and heartbeat. Awesome!

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    • #3
      Coming from the plains, I so appreciate the beautiful imagery presented here. It relaxes and comforts me on a deep level. And the heart, beating to the rhythm of the waves - feels just right. Your words invite me to feel it too. Beautiful!

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      • #4
        Your poem is so relaxing, Sumyanna, I loved the way you painted your song... <3

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        • #5
          yes I believe your heart does beat with the waves!

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          • #6
            This is incredible Sumyanna ! I was at the beach this evening just before sunset and you almost described exactly my experience... gulls,sounds of the ocean, wet sand... my most favorite line ...your perfect description ='Water pulls back to the ocean'
            As I felt this i could not put it into words and here it is. Bravo! the entire piece beginning to end is my kind of ZEN poetry... one i wish i'd written as the last line blows me away!

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            • #7
              You have transported us, Sumyanna! Dozens of RhymeZoners are now sitting with tightly closed lids attempting to conjure the seashore, the sand, and the gulls. When I close my eyes, I see spots. Not even a close second!

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              • #8
                I agree with the others. Your mastery of form and style, draw the reader in, the reader literal has a vicarious experience.

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