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Awaken the Crow

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  • Awaken the Crow

    Because I knew you, I changed me
    Because I knew you, my thoughts grew

    As time passed, I questioned
    As time passed, I sat weary

    With summer heat, I ran in the ocean
    With summer heat, I prayed for guidance

    As night fell, I slept restless
    As night fell, I grew compassion

    The day breaks, I awaken
    The day breaks
    red crow; a vision.

  • #2
    This is an elegantly structured, very beautiful piece, Suz-zen. There is a spiritual strength in its simplicity. And the red crow at the end is, indeed, a striking vision. Hat's off!

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you grant... it came from a spiritual place within. The structure is new for me, so I appreciate the comment a lot.

  • #3
    I find the repetition very effective; the 'red crow' at poem's end leaves me wondering exactly what that speaks to you. Striking Suz-zen.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      i have enjoyed the repetition in many poems here in the zone and have toyed with it unsuccessfully. I am very glad that you found it effective. For me it was as if a 'prayer' or 'meditation' as I wrote it.

  • #4
    I love the line about growing compassion in the night.

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    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      thank you lg. the compassion has been a long fought battle with myself.

  • #5
    I thought this was going to end badly with heartbreak or disappointment, Suz-zen, but it ended with a red crow. I must say, I was not expecting that! It is a striking image and it must mean something. Why wasn't it black? hmmm. It isn't the one-eyed or three-eyed raven. I'm stumped! In any case, I love the write!

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      ...'ending badly'...it almost did! and i sat with this one for quite a few days and nights too.
      Thank you very much for reading and leaving such lovely comments.

  • #6
    I thought this was spiritually reflective and growth. I also am curious about the red crow. Wonderful Suz-zen.

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    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      I was feeling the growth for sure while writing.... sometimes the words first the actual growth later. This time it was good timing. as words metamorphosis combined.

  • #7
    Thank you all for the wonderful and varied responses to my very personal poem. AlexandratheLate MHenry RhymeLovingWriter grant hayes the red crow signifies for me, divine intervention and in many Oriental Myths as well ( specially Japan crow with 3 legs) or it can represent the sun and enlightenment (I like that too). Some stories in Korea tell of a red crow that inhabits the sun and it is responsible for leading the sun across the sky.

    I had envisioned a red crow as I struggled with this last line.
    Last edited by Suz-zen; 06-26-2016, 08:30 PM.

    Comment


    • MHenry
      MHenry commented
      Editing a comment
      An apt ending, then, and thanks for enlightening!

    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks guys. I like the red crow a lot more now.... keep your eyes open. there may be more!

    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Yea! More is great!

  • #8
    Dear suz-zen you answered before i could write. I saw the black crow with the sun rise on its clossy wings as a red hue. The crow has been a significant symbol in my life

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    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Oh The second! beautiful vision!! The crow is an amazing bird and symbol in many cultures. Highly intelligent, mystical and surely a messenger. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  • #9
    Well done.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you DWAYNE!
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