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false chandelier

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  • false chandelier

    Darkness
    finds a fire pit
    ocean waves
    are near
    distance yourself
    from orange flames
    meet with a mirror
    ashes dance lightly
    create false chandelier
    Snowy Egret stalks its prey
    breathe in her beauty
    its holy atmosphere
    wind gusts of choirs that sing
    again we reappear

  • #2
    Some intriguing and mysterious lines to this too literal reader... meet with a mirror (but I don't see one on the beach - look at yourself, dummy), where did the choirs come from? Is there a chapel on the beach? reappear? did we go somewhere? I clearly need help here! My favorite lines

    ashes dance lightly
    create false chandelier

    I can visualize this, and it is wonderful.

    These beach parties are one of the reasons I moved to California!

    Love the piece, Suz-zen!

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Much like your poem about the Blue Lotus, the blonde and the pole and mystery... I will explain this...but first I thank you so very much for the comments and i dare say you my poet are not so literal! You have found the mirror oftentimes.
      My favorite and actually and the line that started this poem was'ashes dance lightly
      create false chandelier' and living in San Diego I have seen this image walking on the beach and it came to me yesterday and I had to write this.
      Thanks so much MHenry. More about the Snowy Egret to come...

  • #3
    I love this too -- like you freed yourself and just let your imagination feel and sense so much beauty!! Love this Suz-zen.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Aw, thank you so much AlexandratheLate. I really did let go here. Appreciate that you read this with appreciation. Was not sure if anyone would get it.

  • #4
    Lots of lexical gems here!

    A triumph of poetic imagery!

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      hi DWAYNE. I i like the lexical gems! thank you very much for reading!!

  • #5
    I'm fascinated by mirrors so I particularly enjoyed this one 😄

    Comment


    • #6
      Hi lg,
      I'm glad you enjoyed this. There is a philosophy that every person is a mirror that is a reflection of own self. I am not always certain of that, I more believe that the entire Universe provides that mirror... maybe the moon herself is the biggest mirror reflecting back to us our greatest wishes dreams and heartaches, past and future. Or what if we are not supposed to look in a mirror at all? In the Jewish faith when someone dies they cover the mirrors so not to see the severe sadness & grief from loss... we poets look at it, hold it dear, fondle it. press it to our hearts and sometimes put it on a shelf to visit it again, no?
      Thanks again for reading and commenting lunar glide


      Comment


      • lunar glide
        lunar glide commented
        Editing a comment
        mirrors make their way into my poems or are often the main subject. maybe ill post some

      • Suz-zen
        Suz-zen commented
        Editing a comment
        please do!!

    • #7
      Wow - this is absolutely beautiful!

      Comment


      • #8
        Thank you Sumyanna I am happy that you like this!

        Comment


        • #9
          Intense experience of the moment Suz-zen. Beautiful.

          Comment


          • Suz-zen
            Suz-zen commented
            Editing a comment
            experiencing the moment in poetry is something i am so grateful for as I am sure you are as well! thank you!

        • #10
          This is top drawer stuff, Suz-zen.

          Fire pit...orange flames...stalking egret...holy...

          Not enough Likes!!!! I wish I had written it.

          Comment


          • Suz-zen
            Suz-zen commented
            Editing a comment
            Oh grant you have made my day. Your acknowledgement means so very much. I was feeling today as though my writing is blurghhhh.
            thank you thank you!

        • #11
          Samuel Smith I had forgotten to mention in my haste that indeed I had attempted the concrete structure here of my 'false chandelier'... thank you for noticing!
          As i am writing something now and am having a heck of a time and the concrete structure is making me mad... I remembered your observation! Thank you for the encouragement.

          Comment

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