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Ten Count – Knocked Out

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  • Ten Count – Knocked Out

    Ten Count – Knocked Out

    Round number one
    Boxers are set
    He knocks him down
    But not out yet
    Jab to the chin
    That did him in
    Ten count – knocked out


  • #2
    Grant, this volta is weak, as it is merely a continuation of the preceding four lines, and the resolution is also weak for the same reason. The subject does not lend itself to the Henrician formula!

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      I suppose it's more an inevitable progress than an about-face. The turn really doth make the poem, with the ha'sonnet, that is.

  • #3
    How about:

    Round number one
    Boxers are set
    He knocks him down
    But not out yet
    Jab to the chin
    Dentists will grin
    Dollars (or fortunes) to count

    Or something akin to that?

    Comment


    • graydon archer
      graydon archer commented
      Editing a comment
      YES! Especially the dental bill.....
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