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Farewell, Farewell!

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  • Farewell, Farewell!

    bidding farewell
    distant bagpipes
    calling us home
    green mountains sigh
    castles waiting
    children singing
    bridges marry
    clear coursing streams
    calm lakes mirror
    birds drift over
    breathless beauty
    captive stairway
    feel safe home here
    ancient newness
    all those colors
    Celtic daydream
    Suz-zen
    Master of the Forum
    Last edited by Suz-zen; 05-23-2016, 10:19 PM. Reason: thank you grant ! Sheep out castles in!

  • #2
    Wow. What a beautiful song you have sung. Truly calming to read these lines. Are you Irish? I have Irish blood, but I have never stepped upon her shores. Strange how I can miss a connection to something I have never touched.

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    • #3
      Hi
      Sumyanna
      Senior Member
      Sumyanna thank you!!
      I am not Irish, I am a Greek 100%
      But I love many who are! And I have dreamed of going since my childhood. Fell in love with Ireland when I saw Ryan's Daughter and am planning a trip in OCT!! Saw a classical musical video this morning and it inspired this poem... it fell from my lips and onto the page.... thank you for reading and commenting!! AND I love Irish poetry!

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      • Suz-zen
        Suz-zen
        Master of the Forum
        Suz-zen commented
        Editing a comment
        I cry too!! Let me know which County he is from and maybe i can go by and take a photo??

      • pipersfancy
        pipersfancy
        Senior Member
        pipersfancy commented
        Editing a comment
        Sorry for eavesdropping... but my dad was from Co. Antrim, and I still have family there, although—unfortunately—I've not yet been able to make the trip to meet them. Irish poets... and a pint of stout... can there be anything more deliciously melancholy?

      • Suz-zen
        Suz-zen
        Master of the Forum
        Suz-zen commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi Piperfancy~ always welcome to the Irish Party! Pour a Black and tan or Irish Whiskey and let's sing about the trouble we've seen!! County Antrim is on our list along with County Cork as family friends are from these delightful places! Another reason you have this poetic gift...long and lovely heritage of deep emotion!

    • #4
      Not to put a damper on your Celtic dreaming, Suz-zen, but the proliferation of sheep grazing in the glen came at great cost to traditional Gaelic culture in the highlands. Look up the Highland Clearances.

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    • #5
      Idyllic write.

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      • #6
        grant hayes
        Master of the Forum
        grant hayes Note edit! I had wanted castles in there originally! Thanks you!!

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        • #7
          Maybe I am miscounting, Suz-zen, but this looks a grantian four-syllabic rave, and a bit 'o the bagpipes for pipersfancy, whose ears moost be ringin' with the delicious melody you have piped!!
          MHenry
          Master of the Forum
          Last edited by MHenry; 05-23-2016, 10:36 PM.

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          • #8
            MHenry
            Master of the Forum
            MHenry it is!! You are good at math and words! i wondered if you or grant would notice!! i was inspired by his last poem!! And yes
            pipersfancy
            Senior Member
            pipersfancy was also in my heart with this one!

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            • pipersfancy
              pipersfancy
              Senior Member
              pipersfancy commented
              Editing a comment
              Aww... I offer my profuse thanks! I haven't been well of late, and your poem put a wistful smile on my face.

          • #9
            This flows much better, streamlike, than my effort, Suz-zen! I wonder if we should coin a word for these four-syllable pieces, and maybe add another constraint to them, just to make it a bona fide 'form'. If it isn't already a 'thing', maybe RhymeZoners could pioneer it?

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          • #10
            Four syllables is half of eight, so one must do more than split the sonnet line in half. Proposals for further constraints?
            What to call such a thing? a Ha'sonnet?

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            • #11
              Okay, taking further the half sonnet notion, maybe we could make it seven lines? It may need some twist as well.

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            • #12
              Yes, it would need a volta and a resolution.

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              • #13
                Is rhyme obligatory, or optional? And if rhyme, what kind?

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                • #14
                  Yes, we must define...I say, optional, like the double Ha'Sonnet. And with seven lines four syllables each, I think we should be liberal on the rhyme scheme.

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                  • #15
                    At what point should the volta and resolution fall? Last two lines, respectively?

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