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Reverie (Word Prompt #3)

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  • Reverie (Word Prompt #3)

    Startled, she deftly, mechanically
    hoisted umbrella skyward.
    Reverie swiftly forgotten,
    reality brokered in
    lesson of import;
    no patience
    for dream
    left
    behind.
    No time to
    explore new
    horizons where
    comet grazed heaven
    in perfect amber tail of light,
    landing as freckles on virgin sky.

  • #2
    Ooouuu, I love this! I particularly love the way it is structured. Was that done purposely? Either way, it's wonderful RLW!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you Graydon. It didn't start out that way, but when the first four lines fell into place, I noticed and decided to follow through. That's when it became intentional. At that point I had to do some rearranging/editing, but it worked itself out - which also amazes me most of the time!

  • #3
    Where do you find these word prompts? I'm thinking they'd be a good challenge to partake in...

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Sumyanna started a thread on the Forum->Share riddles, teasers, and contests. You can either post the poems there or here. I think this forum gets visited more often.

  • #4
    Well then..... guess I'll just mosey on over there and take a look-see tank you

    Comment


    • #5
      Where are the Likes? This is brilliant poetry!
      The comet, the freckles, the opportunity bypassed; a gorgeous weld and meld of a stray assortment of words! And it has a shape!

      You are so casually excellent, Rhymist, it's scary.

      Comment


      • RhymeLovingWriter
        RhymeLovingWriter commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you so much Grant - high praise this! I never quite know, when posting things, if I've done the best I could. And I've been reading a lot lately about revising and editing - which I nearly never do (haven't developed the discipline or patience yet). What is your personal practice? Do you write and hold, revising and reworking before posting? And thank you for the like.

      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        I do work quite carefully, Rhymist, and have come back to pieces time and again and tinkered with them, or occasionally reworked them substantially. So, yes, I do revise and hold, generally. However, there are times when something arrives pretty much complete, and I've found that editing such arrivals almost never improves them. And such as these are often the pieces that people relate to most readily.

        Now, if you're hitting the mark without much editing, go with that. There's no rule that says you must sweat and strain over a piece for it to be worthy.

    • #6
      Sorry I'm late but this is wonderful RLW. Love the format too.

      Comment


      • RhymeLovingWriter
        RhymeLovingWriter commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks AtL - since I only posted it a few hours ago - you're not late at all. Thank you also, for the like.

    • #7
      I love what you have done here, RLW, I don't know that I could, would attempt a prompt poem. You have crafted some very beautiful phrases here.

      Comment


      • RhymeLovingWriter
        RhymeLovingWriter commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you MHenry. I am enjoying practicing this discipline. Sumyanna started a thread on the other forum (riddles & contests, etc.) and may be planning to continue. I appreciate your kind comments very much.
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