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A Bullet with My Name on It- Sweet Things: Chapter 1 (Poetic Novella)

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  • A Bullet with My Name on It- Sweet Things: Chapter 1 (Poetic Novella)

    This is the first chapter of an Action poetry novel I am working on. It is called A Bullet with My Name on It. All critique and advice is happily welcomed. Let me know what you think. Comment and share!

    Sweet Things: Episode 1

    You Can Be a Sweet Dream: Chapter 1
    Every night was always the same,
    A hopeless, dirty, night filled with tears
    But that night things were gonna change
    He had nobody to blame
    His life was no fairytale
    But soon he would see it rearranged

    Julian strutted into the police station at three A.M.
    Wearing a cheetah print jacket with a faux-fur trim,
    And torn up skinny jeans with dark red pumps
    He wore big dark sunglasses to cover up his eye
    He had just escaped a beating from an evil, awful guy
    The bruises on his face were more than mere bumps

    The three officers and the 9-1-1 operator all stared his way
    He was used to it by then; everyone stared at him, every single day
    He was flashy and loud and he didn’t give a damn
    Julian walked to the desk, trying to hold it all in
    The officer didn’t say a word; he didn’t know where to begin
    Julian removed his sunglasses then slowly began

    “I want to report an assault,” he tried not to cry.
    The officer’s heart sank as he looked at Julian’s eye
    “What happened here, son,” the officer assumed.
    Julian sniffed and took a deep breath. “I met this guy at a bar and,”
    He began, before bursting into tears, just as he had planned
    “He took me to his hotel room and beat me,” Julian resumed.

    The three officers and the operator all came to his aid
    Offering him tissues for the face he displayed
    “Could you give us a description,” one office asked.
    Julian wiped his face and nodded his head
    He cried, “I thought for sure I was gonna be dead.”
    “We’ll get this son of a bitch,” another officer trashed.

    “We may be a small town but we don’t discriminate against anyone, here.”
    “Not even the
    gays,” the operator added, her voice loud and clear.
    “Thank you so much for your kindness,” Julian tried not to dread
    Julian described his attacker and after a few tears and
    gasps he wiped his face
    Julian looked around, his watchful eyes observing and examining the entire space
    “Eddie, take him to the back and get him cleaned up,” one officer said.

    Julian followed Eddie away from the others, hidden in a room
    Eddie pulled out a first aid kit and got to cleaning the gloom
    “I’m sorry this happened to you,” Eddie gave him a partial smile.
    “Thank you,” Julian smiled back and waited for him to turn around
    Then he pulled out a baton from his jacket and knocked him to the ground
    “I’m sorry,” Julian said. “I need to be fast, it’ll be over in a while.”

    Julian left the room and closed the door behind him, he needed to be fast
    He crept down the hall to the jail cells; suddenly he saw an officer walking past
    “Is everything alright?” he asked as he approached the young man.
    “Umm,” Julian began. “Eddie can’t find the Neosporin. Could you help us?”
    The officer followed Julian back to the room, thinking he was helpless
    Julian kept his cool like he always did; he knew how to stick to a plan

    Julian opened the door for the officer who was shocked to find Eddie knocked out on the ground
    As he turned to Julian, the young man quickly hit him across the face; he fell with a loud sound
    Julian picked up the officer’s keys and rushed off towards the cells
    Julian needed to be even faster but at least he had the keys
    He knew getting what he wanted wouldn’t be a breeze
    He walked into the hall where he knew the prisoners would dwell

    He looked in each cage until finally he found him at the end; he was sitting on his cot
    “Did you miss me,” Julian smiled. The young man in the cell looked dizzy and fraught
    “I don’t believe this shit,” the young man jumped up and rushed to the bars
    “You actually made it.” Julian smiled as the young man observed his face
    “What happened to you,” the young man questioned as he let his hand trace
    “It’s just stage makeup,” Julian replied, remembering his bruises and scars

    Julian began to unlock the cell. “Let’s get out of here,” he started to say.
    “Put your hands up,” the third officer commanded. “You ain’t getting away.”
    Julian obeyed his command and raised up his hands high above his head
    “You played a very good trick,” the
    office pointed his gun as he walked to the boy.
    He pulled out his handcuffs, ready to arrest Julian. “You’re good at playing coy.
    I saw what you did to my deputies; you’re good, that much can be said.”

    “You came all this way for a thief,” the officer continued. “You messed up, kid.”
    Julian chuckled and said, “It wasn’t me who messed up officer, you did.”
    The officer brought Julian’s hands down behind his back and threw him against the bars
    “By the looks of it, you’re the one who’s going to jail,” the officer obnoxiously grinned.
    “Looks can be deceiving,” Julian replied as he elbowed the officer who had him pinned
    Julian spun him around and slammed his head against the wall, he was seeing stars

    The officer fell to the floor with a thud, his heavy body still
    Julian continued to unlock the cell, his body buzzed with thrill
    The young man in the cage quickly rushed into Julian’s arms and kissed him on the lips
    “I told you I’d come back for you, didn’t I,” Julian smiled.
    “Whatever mister tough guy,” the young man’s eyes wild.
    “I love you, Gael,” Julian kissed him back, his hands wrapped around the young man’s hips

    Suddenly an alarm started buzzing in the police station, loud and bright
    “Let’s get the hell out of here, now,” Julian said, ready to call it a night
    They rushed towards the back exit, quick and swift
    “The car is just down the road,” he said pushing open the emergency exit.
    They ran away from the station, reaching the car was their only objective.
    They jumped into the car and started it up, off in a drift

    Julian gave Gael one more kiss as they drove off into the darkness
    It was the two of them together, against
    a world so heartless
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    Last edited by acdominguezcreates; 05-13-2016, 06:20 PM.

  • #2
    Hi, ac, I like the story. I think you have something here. The piece could use some polish, but it is engaging and interesting. Keep it up!