Ravish (more Spenserian fun)

[RhymeLovingWriter]

If when desire carouses wantonly
Destroying semblance striven order held
Undisciplined, capricious, passion free
Encouraging delight of other quelled

Led-on emotions strung when love was gelled
On swelled organic pulse of reverie
Until with drops of jewel orb over-swelled
Resultant gasp belying ecstasy

Yet frequently when ebbing flow does flee
Diminished, petered-out, the dervish hied
Long after-glowing embers smolder free
Remaining one-to-one or side-by-side

When all transpiring tones a dulcet bell
Is domicile of heaven…or of hell?

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Oh drat - I see I've made an error in the rhyme scheme here. It's supposed to be ababbcbccdcdee - and my second stanza is baba and the third is acac. However, I like it the way it is, so let's just call it a MODIFIED Spenserian sonnet and chalk it up to poetic license?

[grant hayes]

Gah! I admit it! I am stumped!

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Wait - what? About what?

[grant hayes]

Comprehension. Alas! I am worsted!

[grant hayes]

But I don't mind; it is very good. I will return and unravel it. Attempt the north face, as it were.

[MHenry]

I see two lovers, horny (pardon the expression) entwined in sexual ecstasy, may I say, ejaculating, then spent in their post-coital reverie.

But my mind is definitely in the gutter, and you are a good Christian, so that can't be right. Maybe even a bit blasphemic!

Regardless, two thumbs up, RLW, I LOVE this, especially coming (oops!) from you! And if I am right, two gemological orbs up!

[AlexandratheLate]

Definitely on the same page as you on this one -- I've written enough shall we say erotic poetry to know it when I read it. Lol lol lol. Great job RLW.

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Basically, you've got it MHenry. Although I do wish I could change the title - and don't know how.
Let me say first, that my word choices may have caused the confusion. If I’ve misappropriated a word or two, please let me know.
It’s basically my attempt at decrying the aberration of healthy, loving conjugal relations. There is the breaking of peace in the first stanza (desire carouses wantonly which encourages that the other party’s delight is quelled) – then in the second violence which outwardly resembles love but debases to only lust (she is left in tears, not of joy as it should be) – then in the third a return to what seems to be the norm, but instead holds the seed of hatred (the violence is over – dervish hied – and they resume status quo but hatred remains – embers smolder free). So even though things look good on the outside – they are rotten to the core.

[grant hayes]

It's not at all scandalous, RhymeLovingWriter. Good loving is a gift indeed.

[MHenry]

You can go to 'Edit' 'Delete' and 'poof'!

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Oh bother. It's only the title I wanted to change anyway. Let it stand.