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Unraveling

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  • Unraveling

    I am torn, mangled thread
    shreds entwined, firmly into a ball
    tears of rough fiber discolored red
    as I am cut, beginning to fall

    Extracting the needle from within
    bleeding, to unravel all my pain
    I untangle, breaking off as I spin
    decimated thread, with sorrow's stain

    Ravaged strands, fell to be free
    my weak twine, now unwound
    the knot of darkness once held me
    though no longer has me bound

    The despair that pained me clears
    my heart's released from the sling
    threads grew strong, dry of tears
    I land, as unbreakable string.

    By, Melissa June

  • #2
    I like the metaphor ball of mangled thread you used

    Comment


    • MelissaJune
      MelissaJune commented
      Editing a comment
      Pleased to hear! Thanks for reading my poem

  • #3
    This rhymes and flows so well, Melissa. A passionately dark tone; lines that really sing! It rewards repeated reading. I salute!

    Comment


    • MelissaJune
      MelissaJune commented
      Editing a comment
      Very pleased to read this nice comment and to hear this write flows! Thank you!

  • #4
    The poem flows nicely and I take for Granted that it rewards further reading.

    Comment


    • MelissaJune
      MelissaJune commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you! Glad you enjoyed my poem.

  • #5
    MJ. you are the master of seamless metaphor, carefully weaving (literally, in this case) them into your poem to enhance and elucidate. You seem to have appropriated this technique as your signature to wonderful effect. I look forward to seeing more of these and learning from you. Thanks for sharing!

    Comment


    • #6
      I do love using metaphors! Thank you appreciate you taking the time to read my poem.

      Comment


      • #7
        This poem just sings, eloquently.
        Not a wasted syllable. Great!

        Comment


        • MelissaJune
          MelissaJune commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you

      • #8
        A dark fraying that mends; excellent journey ending on a high note, MelissaJune! I agree with your other commenters about the power of your metaphors; you use them to full advantage but there is no overuse - quite the feat from where I sit..

        Comment


        • MelissaJune
          MelissaJune commented
          Editing a comment
          This poem was writen for something local here the theme was " string " thanks for taking the time to read my work.
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