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  • Glint

    This is my first attempt at writing a tanka. I shaped it around thoughts about three major elements of life as I understand them - death, weather and love.. And how these 3 shine in fleeting moments and muse before full flowering. I tried to stuff my musings into the prescribed parameters and with the devices of simile, metaphor and personification - hope everything fits correctly, but may be a fail - here it is anyway.... And this photo I took in Florida a couple of years ago seems to fit too.



    Deathlessness, love, mist.
    stream Spells warming, cool, touch sky
    teardrop glimmer, Joy
    pre dawn smiles kiss night's sleep.
    dust reborn, diamonds hint womb




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  • #2
    This is beautiful Katray! I had to look up the tanka form but it seems like you've done a great job. My favorite phrase, I think is 'dust reborn' for people getting up in the morning? This seems even more complicated than the haiku! Great work!

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    • #3
      Thank you so much, RLW! I was thinking of the fact/supposition? all of us are composed of star dust. Dust reborn seemed to connect the three elements or themes I wrote about. Love, deathlessness/immortality, weather can shine, weep, fragment, drift, be invisible, collect and gather. And give early signs, clues before their time.
      Last edited by Katray; 05-04-2016, 10:39 AM. Reason: posted too soon

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      • #4
        I would have to agree. You are truly an A student of this forum

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        • #5
          Very nice of you, William, thank you!

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          • #6
            Hi, Katray, I have not heard of this form of poetry, either, but it is challenging. You have taken the challenge head-on and seem to have mastered it! The poem is beautiful and expansive in meaning with so few well-chosen and poignant phrases. Diamond hint womb is very enigmatic. You must be published!

            Coincidentally, I ran across another form of poetry of which I hadn't heard (no surprise, I don't get out much!), the Boomerang (nods to grant hayes). Maybe you have...but I will post a couple I wrote.

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            • #7
              I am so motivated and further inspired by your comments, MHenry; Thank you so much. I continue to learn about this obsession called writing and poetry.. I will check out your work; again thank you!

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              • #8
                The hallmark Katray affinity for nature is here. What I particularly want to laud to the dawn skies is the last line:
                'dust reborn, diamonds hint womb'

                Damn, Katray! That line SINGS. Not enough Likes. Salutes.

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