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A Shuttered Window

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  • A Shuttered Window

    A Shuttered Window

    A shuttered window
    Cuckold husband hides in dark
    What goes on inside

    Your mind - a shattered
    Window - pieces of our lives
    Lay in broken shards

    Husband unappeased
    Visits nearby comfort house
    Drowns in hot sake

    Familiar foot path
    Estranged - paved with betrayal
    Husband turns westward

    Giant fireball sun
    Sets over snowcapped Fuji
    Heart sinks in cold chest

    Lonely moonlit beach
    Pebbles glint in sand - husband
    Ponders life's meaning

    Finding none, husband
    Swims far out to sea - exhales
    Fuji disappears

    Husband's body found
    Floating - seaweed in his mouth
    Briny, bitter taste

    Unfaithful consort
    Hence, discovered, ostracized
    Disgraced concubine

    Finds husband's dagger
    Lifts kimono - bares belly
    For hara-kiri

    Honorable death
    Wide-eyed, one-year old daughter
    Fujiko - orphaned

  • #2
    Oh my gosh...I want to cry! Forget that you've somehow managed to successfully employ an ELEVEN-CHAIN haiku (and I thought shooting for 10 would be pretty darn good)! Really MHenry, this is outstanding. I just want to read it again and again - even though the story breaks my heart. Awe-inspiring. My thanks.

    Comment


    • MHenry
      MHenry commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, RLW! Your comment makes me want to cry! I appreciate so much your support and encouragement. It's what keeps me writing.

  • #3
    Haiku-tragedy in old Japan! The demise of the couple proceeds with a relentless tread to the devastating conclusion of the infant's witness. You're breaking our hearts here!! From the outcast in a coal-hearted congregation, to the non-believer and his bleak fate, and now to a hara-kiri concubine, your human characters have a really hard time of it, MHenry. Their prospects are as grim as a character on Game of Thrones! (Then again, the outcast was rescued by a golden-winged angel, so I suppose there are some shafts of light.) I imagine you are a gladsome fellow in real life, having worked catharsis in your powerful poems.

    Comment


    • #4
      I have been scrupulously keeping my dark side in check, not wanting to go Darth Vader in the forum, but my cup runneth over!

      Having now been publicly 'outed,' I suppose discretion should dictate the timing of my next storied victim, who has just been written into oblivion.
      Last edited by MHenry; 04-28-2016, 01:26 AM.

      Comment


      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        Mate, if the dark side is your gig, write it. 'Too much sunshine makes a desert' - Arab saying.

      • MHenry
        MHenry commented
        Editing a comment
        You say that now..., but will you still like me in the morning?

    • #5
      This is so sad, MH, but beautifully done.

      Comment


      • MHenry
        MHenry commented
        Editing a comment
        thank you, AG!

    • #6
      Seems like one toe into the abyss will suck the whole body in. Danger, Danger.

      Comment


      • #7
        In horror movies, one should never stick one's toe into the abyss. In life, the abysses are not so apparent. That is why there are so many bruised toes, scraped knees, broken hearts, and bloodied knuckles.

        Comment


        • MHenry
          MHenry commented
          Editing a comment
          The basic story line of the Ugly Duckling is that after suffering for so long under a negative self-image, because it was different from all the other ducks, it finally discovered it was actually a beautiful swan. It's kind of a Cinderella story without the pumpkins.

        • Brainwreck
          Brainwreck commented
          Editing a comment
          Oh yea, Now I remember the swan. Hey, I was wondering why you chose Japan and Mr. Fuji. Have you been or
          just trying to let it be know that the haiku is Japanese? I love Japanese candlesticks for the stock market. By far
          the easiest to see and show lots of information. They started several hundred years ago using it for trading rice.
          The dictionary still does not know what a morning doji star is. Hanging man, spinning star, Tasuki gar, hammer, homing pigeon, evening
          doji star, abandoned baby. I have a cheat sheet that I use.

        • MHenry
          MHenry commented
          Editing a comment
          I am not sure what made me go Japanese on this, but it seemed most appropriate as the story unfolded.

          As a matter of fact, I have been to Japan, and I had a view of Mt. Fuji. It was a beautiful sight and left a lasting impression (evidently). I happen to love the Japanese culture and the artful way they do everything from haiku, to sushi, bonsai, origami, go (igo, baduk, or weiqi), samurai, kimono's, temples, and I suppose the list goes on indefinitely.

          Write some poetry about the morning doji star, Brainwreck, and the other things you know about. Teach us.

      • #8
        Twofold comment... First let me say M, another wonderful write, from the first syllable to the last; Bravo maestro! Secondly, as to your Ugly Duckling scenario for Brain. There's one decidedly dissimilar aspect; the Ugly Duckling didn't have someone as obviously compassionate as you providing words of encouragement.

        Comment


        • Brainwreck
          Brainwreck commented
          Editing a comment
          Awe, Gradon, that is so nice. I surprises y'all still read me. I also have other mentors.

        • MHenry
          MHenry commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you, graydon, you make my heart swell!
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