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  • Judas

    Let me walk through fields of lavender
    where stillness forms a heavy-scented shroud
    of fragrant sorrow. How shall I endure
    the dullness of these skies, thick with cloud,
    now seeded with the sweetness of divine breath?
    I did not choose this place of death;
    your dreadful doe-eyed gaze now chills my blood.
    By your command alone, I’ll lay myself
    within a handmade coffin hewn of redbud,
    die, and rest my soul’s eternal wealth—
    an offering on the altar of this earth—
    expiring one last farewell, one final sigh,
    before sweet lavender shall reminisce
    my sin, and life shall then be done.
    Will you mete out loving kindness to the one
    who greets you with a kiss?
    Last edited by pipersfancy; 04-28-2016, 05:51 AM.

  • #2
    Sensational, pf. The meter, flow and rhyme are impeccable, of course, and the matter - bracketed within lavender - a skilfully woven tapestry of great themes: death, betrayal, love, sin. A work of major stature. Not enough Likes.

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    • #3
      Another truly beautiful piece pipersfancy.

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      • pipersfancy
        pipersfancy commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you RLW. If you read my response to Grant, below, you'll see that this work in another of my poem-a-day prompt efforts.

      • RhymeLovingWriter
        RhymeLovingWriter commented
        Editing a comment
        Your comments to Grant make this so much richer. I agree about the shorter title - as to which, Judas or Lavender, I can't be judge. What I can say is that having read it once - and then reading it again given your background inspiration - is that it strikes me as even more beautiful and universal a message than at first glance. Awesome write.

    • #4
      Thank you, Grant. This was written off a prompt to create an Ekphrastic poem (i.e. one inspired by art... you probably know that!) So, my inspiration was, The Artist's Garden at Giverny - Claude Monet. The work of the impressionist masters has always had a magical and profound effect on me. This time, I was struck by the beauty of the lavender fields, and how the canvas is so filled... the lavender rises to fill even the areas where sky should be seen. It evokes an overwhelming, almost suffocating sense of the stillness, the scent... peaceful, yes, yet lavender also takes me back in time to my elderly grandmother's bedroom where she lingered in declining health, where the scent of lavender mingled with a foreboding of her passing. It conjured up all sorts of ideas... well, you obviously caught most of them as you've succinctly listed them! I also though, perhaps if the possibility of redemption had a scent... it might be that of lavender.

      I am undecided on a name for this work. I have considered Hope for Lavender Redemption, though I may stay with what I've used here; the other being too wordy... any opinions?

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      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        I wouldn't have known this was ekphrasis, PF: that I do now puts a new slant on it; deepens the interest, though it works perfectly well without that visual association. It is such an emotionally complex and involving piece. I think the considered re-title may be too de/prescriptive; I like the powerful, suggestive challenge of 'Judas', though I can appreciate that it may confuse many readers. You could just call it 'Lavender' I guess.

    • #5
      I love the ebb and flow of this piece!

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      • #6
        Hi, pf, you have written a wonderfully sensuous piece. One which belies the few moments you may have spent creating it with its richness and fullness. This feels like a contest winner (but so many of yours do - and are)!
        Last edited by MHenry; 04-28-2016, 12:07 AM.

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        • pipersfancy
          pipersfancy commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you MHenry. What a kind and encouraging comment to make! This one actually took a couple of hours. The other one I posted last night—that one was kind of zipped off quickly as I was catching up with another prompt-poem (lol!)

      • #7
        Powerful and descriptive piece! I love how you painted the scene....just one typo for 'alter' though.
        I also like the question as your ending. Love this piece!

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        • pipersfancy
          pipersfancy commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for catching that!

      • #8
        Yet another masterful write PF. It is an enchanting write, that weaves with poetic thread. It has also enlighten me as to another form of prose that, until now, I was unaware of. I will indeed try my hand at writing in this form. Thank you!

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        • pipersfancy
          pipersfancy commented
          Editing a comment
          You are very kind, graydon! I can only stand in awe before the poetic canvases painted by the masters, and spend as much time as I can find lingering in the halls of art galleries. I have always drawn a lot of inspiration from works of art, and it is only in the last year or so that I discovered that there is an actual name for poems which find their birth in this way—ekphrastic. (And now, don't I feel like such a big, fancy girl, knowing such a big, fancy word!) You have my appreciation, and reciprocated respect for your own immense talent, my friend!
          pf

        • RhymeLovingWriter
          RhymeLovingWriter commented
          Editing a comment
          You know, pipersfancy, I'm glad you expounded here on ekphrastic poetry - that word doesn't even come up in my dictionary! This sounds like a lovely way to spend an afternoon off - and my husband is the art aficionado in the house - so he would likely find the viewing equally enjoyable (I just wouldn't ask him to write verse about it afterward - that would be a bit too much)!
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