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  • First Time

    That first time you whispered breathlessly
    I love you, as you held me in your arms
    all I could do was shudder, wipe tears from
    bloodshot eyes, and moan as I gazed over
    your left shoulder. Even in that moment
    of disorientation, with a lip already swollen
    from the impact of a fist, I knew you had
    just upped the ante—and I hated you for it.

  • #2
    As well you might! Oh what tangled, painful web 'love' weaves... I am so thankful you are now safe - and past this. Some stay bound forever, too afraid to flee. This is so poignantly beautiful and brutally honest (as must needs be), but so very, very sad in its universality.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you, RLW. The prompt I was writing from today (on the other site) was to write either a love, or and anti-love, poem. I'm not good with decisions, so I tried to write both... I do sincerely appreciate your comments—I do realize this is a far too common experience and I am grateful to be on the other side of this relationship now.

      Comment


      • RhymeLovingWriter
        RhymeLovingWriter commented
        Editing a comment
        I don't think I've seen all of the other poems you've been writing each day, but I seem to recall you saying something about having to pick a top five favorites at month's end. This might just be another one to consider for that list.

      • pipersfancy
        pipersfancy commented
        Editing a comment
        I haven't posted all of the poems here, RLW. Maybe 10 or so out the 20+ I've written from the prompts this month. I think this one packs a bit of an unexpected emotional punch... that's what I like about it. When one of my poems catches ME offguard in some way... then I feel I've hit an authentic nerve. Yes, this one may make it to the final cut of the poems I'll be submitting.

      • imrogue
        imrogue commented
        Editing a comment
        That is a powerful poem ! i love how the beginning part got twisted into something else... grasping! 👍🏼👍🏼

    • #4
      Reading this is like being in a small boat that's nearing the edge of a waterfall. Pipersfancy, you transmit such an awful sense of this event's past and future that this reader shudders.

      Comment


      • #5
        Thank you for your thoughtful reading of, and response to, this work, Grant. Your words act as a barometer and tell me I managed to push to the limit I was reaching for.

        Comment


        • #6
          pf... This is a powerful poem, succinctly expressing the push and pull of love and abuse, and how disorienting that can be.
          Interestingly, you write in your comment...I'm not good with decisions, so I tried to write both...
          What strikes me about that comment is that you also had a decision to make when you were looking over the left shoulder.
          To rid oneself of abuse, one must rid oneself of the abuser, despite their 'false' professions of love.
          You make it clear, it is not necessarily an easy decision to make when the arms that hurt you are the very same arms that embrace you.

          Comment


          • pipersfancy
            pipersfancy commented
            Editing a comment
            What an interesting, and accurate, observation you point out. Although it was unintentional on my part (i.e. in the wording of my quick response to RLW) you are absolutely correct—that comment truly reveals the heart of this poem.

        • #7
          I just want to thank you all for reading/responding to this work. Although I've been writing on this theme for a great long while, it is only within recent months I have felt confident enough to begin sharing this thought stream of poems with others. It is slightly akin to picking a scab, or perhaps ripping off a band-aid in order that the wound below might heal. I know that the subject matter is uncomfortable to read as well—which only doubles my appreciation to you in your willingness to walk this journey with me.
          pf

          Comment


          • #8
            You caught me completely offguard with that ending.

            Great write!

            Comment


            • #9
              I like it. You take us from love and do a 180degree to hate in very few words. You covered both w/o making a decision. Seems like a decision would be easy, but you
              chose to write both sides. Ante.....well played.

              Comment


              • Brainwreck
                Brainwreck commented
                Editing a comment
                I came back to this poem today. It is so raw and concrete. You summed up new love/abuse in
                8 short lines. You captured what I have not seen before. I really liked this poem.

              • pipersfancy
                pipersfancy commented
                Editing a comment
                I'm so glad you took the time to come back a SECOND time to comment on this work, Nan. I truly appreciate your opinion of this. I am, at this very moment, sorting through the poem-a-day prompt poems I've written throughout the month of April. I need to choose the 5 strongest pieces to submit into this year's poem-a-day contest. This one had made it into my top 10, but I think, with your second comment, I shall select it as one of the final 5 for my selection. Thank you!
                pf

            • #10
              PF, You've encapsulated this mindless, deviate behavior in splendid fashion. The victimization of women (and to a far lesser degree, men) is detestable to me.

              Comment


              • pipersfancy
                pipersfancy commented
                Editing a comment
                It is good to be in a much better place in my life now. Thank you graydon.

            • #11
              I gasped as I read : with a lip already swollen
              from the impact of a fist

              Wow, great writing PF!!

              Comment


              • pipersfancy
                pipersfancy commented
                Editing a comment
                Thank you, Suz-zen. While I didn't write this with the intention of creating shock value, sometimes truth hits with a visceral punch.
                pf

              • Suz-zen
                Suz-zen commented
                Editing a comment
                Our intention in writing is interesting, isn't it? I love how the communication is oftentimes in the eye of the beholder. So many ways to hear something... truth hitting....... yes.
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