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  • New Life

    New Life

    I too have been through the battles of love and lost
    Unchartered pain, disfigured scars, and wounded cost
    My femininity, taken quite a beating
    This spirit has suffered through his constant cheating

    To love as a child has been my biggest mistake and regret
    Your life calculated, sidestepped truth and lived in silhouette
    Roughly self-sketched heart at feeling, lacking in depth and substance
    Proclaimed love you had for me was there only in silent absence

    Today I'm a better person for what I suffered with you
    I am stronger, for as an empathetic person I grew
    At the time, I thought you had murdered me, taken my life's breath
    But resurrection to a new life only comes after death

  • #2
    Thank you for the like Odonko- ba. :-)

    Comment


    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      Odonko-ba, first let me say I'm sorry you too have been battered by people you loved but what I have learned is that true love does not injure and is shown by action. tennysons words although often quoted for me can only be acceptable in circumstances like death of a loved one or because your goals, beliefs and foundation are so different that a couple is not able to work things out. I loved an abuser but, of course did not initially know that - he hid who he was - he only loved himself and is incapable of loving others - a sociopath -- but he killed my love for him. True Love does not hurt, nor does it look for it's own interest -- It's expressed by imperfect people so we will make mistakes but it does not abuse, deliberately try to destroy nor disrespect the mutual commitment to each other -- how many of us actually find it and have it returned - very few I believe. Those that do are truly fortunate!!
      Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 04-25-2016, 03:31 PM.

    • Odonko-ba
      Odonko-ba commented
      Editing a comment
      I didn't mean to diminish the pain and hurt that stems from an abusive relationship. If I offended you, my apology. I only wished to convey that even in hell, love can be found. For I loved the shit out of her. My pain was knowing it wasn't reciprocated. Finally, I found the door and used it.

    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      No need to apologize Odonko-ba. I'm very passionate and sometimes get carried away. I am sorry you also suffered terribly and I don't mean to suggest it wasn't real although painful. I believe your love for her was real and I doubt she will ever find someone that loved her the way you did. It is truly her loss -- whether the pain was worth it to you, only you can say. In my case I would rather not have ever wasted my love on someone so unworthy as he was. That is part of my sadness --I wish I had given my love to someone that would have cherished it and honored it and reciprocated it or at least respect me enough as a human to not act cowardly and tell me he didn't love me. Was it worth it in my case? Absolutely not - It was a waste of my precious life.
      Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 04-25-2016, 04:37 PM.

  • #3
    This is brave!

    Uplifting.

    Comment


    • #4
      Thank you Dwayne. It's been a journey. A much older lady in her late 60's -- Bernice -- so wise showed me how to look at how all his bad traits actually inspired in me to be a better person. She is an amazing woman. When he isolated me, I made new friends, when he belittled me, I learned to stand up for myself and others. His cruelty taught me what love is not, his infidelity taught me how detrimental broken trust is. Thank you for your comment. I hope your sister heals.

      Comment


      • pipersfancy
        pipersfancy commented
        Editing a comment
        And, perhaps that is the greatest gift of this type of relationship... the lesson of discerning what love is/is not. Seems self-evident, but no. I think it is the lucky few who learn that lesson without direct teaching... I stand with you, and those who learned the lesson, and moved on from a too painful teacher. I hope we feel safer in our lives, moving forward with that knowledge.

    • #5
      Thank you Brain for the like and for reading my poem.

      Comment


      • AlexandratheLate
        AlexandratheLate commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you Piper and so true. Abuse should never be tolerated but unfortunately the reality is that there is so much domestic violence and child/elderly/teenage abuse. People need support groups, therapy or guidance - practical application of how to get out, heal and redirect what they've suffered. Emotional and mental abuse as well as neglect are so very detrimental but are usually the silent killers.
        Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 04-25-2016, 09:20 AM.

    • #6
      She has healed. Her trials have emphasized, to me, the importance of redifining manhood.

      What I take pride in, find strength in, is the extent to which I can meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of those I love.

      Emboldening others is extremely powerful, and spiritually uplifting.


      By the way, I think you have the makings of another poem in your last post.

      Comment


      • AlexandratheLate
        AlexandratheLate commented
        Editing a comment
        I am happy she has healed and that through her suffering something good came out of horrible things that should never happen - it made you more sensitive and loving to your family.

        I have many poems of that time in my life but they're being put together in a book and one is about how I learned to take the negative and turn into a positive. Thank you for your comments.

    • #7
      Brave as DWAYNE said. This poem shows that you have a lot of courage, yet somehow it shows so much beauty in your soul. You also have a deep empathy.
      Somehow, you turned a painful past into a positive which you now use to help others. Bernice sounds like she was a godsend....Beautiful You.

      Comment


      • #8
        This is another lovely and touching, soul-baring poem, AG. You have many deep wounds to heal, and you have healed them and become a healer. Who said it...'anything that doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"?

        Comment


        • AlexandratheLate
          AlexandratheLate commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you MH. It's true - we just need not to let it embitter us because then they win.

      • #9
        Thank you Brain for the compliment. She was a godsend. I knew I had to turn the negatives to positive but she actually showed me how to do it - some of it was changing my perspective.

        Comment


        • #10
          Very well said and done, New Life. Bravo

          Comment


          • AlexandratheLate
            AlexandratheLate commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you Hawa for reading my poem and for your kind words.

        • #11
          anytime sista

          Comment


          • #12
            Love your avatar!!

            Comment


            • #13
              As always, a soul-touching, and moving write. I am so very glad you had someone in your life for guidance and understanding. She sounds like a very special woman.

              Comment


              • #14
                Thank you Graydon. Bernice's understanding of human nature is unbelievable. Me too - we are still friends and I love her dearly.

                Comment


                • #15
                  Thank you Pf for the like.

                  Comment

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