No announcement yet.

​A Symphony

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • ​A Symphony

    A Symphony

    The butcher's blade cuts swiftly
    Through the fresh carcass
    Carving perfect steaks
    Every few seconds
    Pausing to swat
    A fly

    But the stubborn fly, persisting
    Circles back insistently
    Always returning
    Every few seconds
    To the butcher's
    Cutting hand

    The butcher's blade conducts
    A symphony in the air
    To the winds and strings
    Of the fly's persistent
    Buzzing and arrogant

    At wit's and patience end
    The butcher abandons
    The bright red carcass
    For the hairy, black
    Insignificant, unruly

    But the fly is elusive and swift
    And the butcher's knife
    Cannot find it's mark
    So skillfully applied
    To a lifeless carcass
    But not the fly

    The delivery boy returns
    As the melodrama unfolds
    Alternating between smirk
    And grimace, when in one
    Quick scoop of his hand
    The fly is caught!

    A virtuoso performance by the boy!
    To the undying gratitude
    Of the spent butcher
    Who returns, vanquished
    To the lifeless bovine
    Last edited by MHenry; 04-21-2016, 10:44 PM.

  • #2
    Oh yes - this is wonderful! Beautiful to read - amusing - wonderful formatting - what art! Thanks MHenry!


    • #3
      Your recent poems are very 'flesh and blood', MHenry. There's something almost folkloric about this scene, or painterly; I can imagine it as a scene on some 17th century canvas. My only quibble is the change of tense from past to present between the second and third stanzas. May be better being in present the whole way through; adds to the immediacy.


      • imrogue
        imrogue commented
        Editing a comment
        I do agree with you grant hayes... That is also how I pictured MHenry's poem ... from a 17th century scene.

    • #4
      i like this! very amusing. 😊 kudos to the kid who caught the fly 👍🏼


      • #5
        Hi, grant and RLW, Thank you for reading and enjoying!

        Grant, thank you for pointing out the change in tense. That is a good suggestion.

        I changed the first line of the second stanza. Is this enough to bring it back into the present, or do I have more work to do? I see it in the present tense in my mind, so it might be hard for me to unsee it that way without a little nudge.


        • grant hayes
          grant hayes commented
          Editing a comment
          First stanza:
          The butcher's blade cuts swiftly

          Second stanza:
          But the stubborn fly, persisting,
          Circles back insistently

          Puts it into the present without changing words or number of syllables.

        • MHenry
          MHenry commented
          Editing a comment
          Done! Thank you, grant! I think I am either tired, or a poor grammarian!

        • grant hayes
          grant hayes commented
          Editing a comment
          All good, MHenry. Like a last dab of paint on a large canvas.

      • #6
        Thank you, imrogue!


        • #7
          I got a laugh from that one. I have seen flies caught midair. Grammarian, another new word for me.


          • MHenry
            MHenry commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for reading, Brainwreck. You are here for everyone, and everyone is here for you. I am glad you got a laugh. Bless you.