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Haiku - Porcelain Bowl

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  • Haiku - Porcelain Bowl

    A river of blood
    Swirls down the porcelain bowl
    Finger cut to bone

  • #2
    I like.

    Comment


    • #3
      thank you, brainwreck!

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      • #4
        I like as well and it looks so easy. Just three lines but those three lines are an art in themselves. MHenry a true artist

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        • #5
          Thank you Samuel and Parkinsonspoet for your kind comments.

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          • #6
            ^ Yes he is, Parkinsonspoet.
            I like the movement from 'a river of blood' - with its suggestion of the epic or apocalyptic - to the personal intimacy of just one finger. If I reflect on this, my mind goes in several directions all at once: amusement, alarm, sympathetic pain. MHenry is clever...clever
            grant hayes
            Master of the Forum
            Last edited by grant hayes; 04-18-2016, 06:01 PM.

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            • Brainwreck
              Brainwreck
              Master in Training
              Brainwreck commented
              Editing a comment
              Grant, thank you for your post. I now see a whole lot more of what it could mean.

          • #7
            Thank you, grant. Your observations, as always, are insightful, poetically offered, and very generous indeed. The sympathetic pain thing is real. I cringe every time I think of getting cut. A few days ago, I was washing a wine glass - I sorely (no pun intended) needed a drink that night - and the glass broke in my hand mid-swipe. Fortunately, I suffered only two very minor cuts on my thumb, but the thought of how much more serious the cuts could have been has changed the way I look at washing wine glasses for the time being. Incidentally, this haiku came to mind independently of that accident. Or did it?

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            • Brainwreck
              Brainwreck
              Master in Training
              Brainwreck commented
              Editing a comment
              Plastic, the bottle turned up or coffee cups. When I reach for a stem, my other fingers knock it over before I get a hold of it. Now y'all know.
              Coffee cups. I stumble some and the joke is, Nan, did you trip over a hair?

            • grant hayes
              grant hayes
              Master of the Forum
              grant hayes commented
              Editing a comment
              Nan, I think you just made an interesting poem with your comment. I thought I'd rearrange it in lines to show you what I'm getting at.

              Plastic, the bottle turned up
              or coffee cups.
              When I reach for a stem, my other
              fingers knock it over
              before I get a hold of it.
              Now y'all know.
              Coffee cups. I stumble some
              and the joke is, Nan,
              did you trip over a hair?

              You may want to tweak it here and there

            • grant hayes
              grant hayes
              Master of the Forum
              grant hayes commented
              Editing a comment
              Okay, I've thought about it some more, and I've changed a couple of words to aid the flow:

              Plastic, the bottle turned up
              or coffee cups...
              When I reach for a stem, my other
              fingers knock it over
              before I get hold.
              Now y'all know.
              Coffee cups. I stumble some
              and the joke is, Nan,
              did you trip on a hair?

          • #8
            This sounded so painful. I cringed when I read it -- so it was successful. Great!!

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          • #9
            I can see poetic potential in a melding of wine and blood, MHenry The fact that this is a haiku also reminded me of traditional Japanese culture's relationship with (non-accidental) bloodshed. Lots of associations with just a few words. I salute, MHenry!

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            • #10
              Ah yes, my thumb still has quite a bit of scar tissue and hurts occasionally. I actually found some blood about 8 feet up on my wall the other day after a month--the worst part was I had to throw away the sweet potato!

              Also, 'River of Blood' certainly didn't seem very metaphorical at the time...

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              • Brainwreck
                Brainwreck
                Master in Training
                Brainwreck commented
                Editing a comment
                8 feet up. Gee, what were you doing to that sweet sweet potato? Kinda poetic, a sweet cut.

            • #11
              Thanks for the support, Merkavah! Sorry to hear about your own personal river of blood (and the sweet potato).

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