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End of the moon - Waters part 2 (or Mermaid distant from breath)

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  • DWAYNE
    replied
    Such well crafted lines!

    Leave a comment:


  • Robert Wendt
    replied
    I truly enjoy everything you write Katray.

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  • Katray
    replied
    Thank you so much, MHenry, you made my day!

    Leave a comment:


  • MHenry
    replied
    Hi, Katray, This is a beautiful piece. You are a true poet. The lines grant quotes are lyrical and enigmatic, as he points out, as is the entire piece. A romantic, longing theme, drawing the reader into your world with a dizzying siren song. Congratulations on another fine work of art.
    Last edited by MHenry; 04-19-2016, 09:58 PM.

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  • Katray
    replied
    Thank you most kindly, Grant, really appreciate your assessment.

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  • grant hayes
    replied
    What lush use of language, Katray.

    I particularly like this:

    'A master in his hour lilts
    faraway, lost be the core, earth tilts
    beneath tides foretold
    by weight of waters rushing their majesty through depths drowning cold'

    Lyrical, enigmatic, very musical. The rhyme is well handled. Great use of assonance - one of my favourite poetic things. Wow.

    Leave a comment:


  • End of the moon - Waters part 2 (or Mermaid distant from breath)

    As a shell shattered on shore
    mine essence is separate ​from lore.
    dreams bled till there is nothing but this
    - mirror of seas breathing yesterday's bliss.
    A master in his hour lilts
    faraway, lost be the core, earth tilts
    beneath tides foretold
    by weight of waters rushing their majesty through depths drowning cold

    tears of the sea I long to follow
    inhale, imbue brine and salt, sorrow
    - swallow
    where is the air, why can I not weep -
    sands hollow are stairways fallen, upon stone the morrow

    once dared to leap.

    A Master in his hour,
    he holds the power

    of my exhale.


    (wishing to extend a heartfelt Thank you for the warm welcome I have received on this forum. Please bear with me as I learn my way around here and if I don't respond swiftly to comments or messages, it's because for me, like all humans, time is in a toothpaste kind of squeeze or something like that, lol. I do hope to eventually catch up.)


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