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  • Odonko-ba
    replied
    Thanks MHenry. Truth be told, channeling my inner muse has been quite a challenge. But being here amongst you guys has brought out the best in me. I believe again. My sincere thanks for all the support and encouragement. F4L. Odonko-ba

    Leave a comment:


  • MHenry
    replied
    Hi, Odonko-ba, Your work is clearly getting bolder and better. I think you have gained confidence in yourself in just these few short weeks, and it shows. Congratulations on an inspiring piece.

    Leave a comment:


  • Odonko-ba
    replied
    Mr. Hayes it is always an honor to have you reading and critiquing my work. Your words of encouragement fuels my inner muse. Thank you for your time sir.

    Leave a comment:


  • Odonko-ba
    commented on 's reply
    I am totally at a loss for words. I didn't expect to receive so much attention over my work. I am happy that it is being received as is. Thank you poetess.

  • grant hayes
    replied
    Wow. I love how you've structured this, Odonko-ba. It has a rhythmic flow; you've used assonance oh so well (particularly the fourth stanza: yes!!) Powerful phrasing throughout; the opening two lines just grabbed me instantly 'My chains are gawkers...' bold, robust language. I'm really impressed by this.

    Leave a comment:


  • AlexandratheLate
    replied
    To be human is to want to matter, to be acknowledged with worth and respect -- not to be dismissed as insignificant - be seen as an equal. I feel your plead, your frustration and anger. You need to be published. That is my humble opinion. :-)

    Leave a comment:


  • Odonko-ba
    started a topic Human

    Human

    My chains are gawkers
    Bound by witnessing eyes

    I am sacrificed
    Burned in hell fires of apathy
    I rise

    The stench under your nostrils
    Blacker than scorched earth
    History's minions
    I toil for naught-
    A callous heart

    But that I am seen
    A human being
    With human needs
    Can't you see
    I bleed

    My river runs deep
    Fermenting greed
    Greasing the cogs
    Of history
    Last edited by Odonko-ba; 04-16-2016, 12:33 PM.
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