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  • Human

    My chains are gawkers
    Bound by witnessing eyes

    I am sacrificed
    Burned in hell fires of apathy
    I rise

    The stench under your nostrils
    Blacker than scorched earth
    History's minions
    I toil for naught-
    A callous heart

    But that I am seen
    A human being
    With human needs
    Can't you see
    I bleed

    My river runs deep
    Fermenting greed
    Greasing the cogs
    Of history
    Last edited by Odonko-ba; 04-16-2016, 12:33 PM.

  • #2
    To be human is to want to matter, to be acknowledged with worth and respect -- not to be dismissed as insignificant - be seen as an equal. I feel your plead, your frustration and anger. You need to be published. That is my humble opinion. :-)


    • Odonko-ba
      Odonko-ba commented
      Editing a comment
      I am totally at a loss for words. I didn't expect to receive so much attention over my work. I am happy that it is being received as is. Thank you poetess.

  • #3
    Wow. I love how you've structured this, Odonko-ba. It has a rhythmic flow; you've used assonance oh so well (particularly the fourth stanza: yes!!) Powerful phrasing throughout; the opening two lines just grabbed me instantly 'My chains are gawkers...' bold, robust language. I'm really impressed by this.


    • #4
      Mr. Hayes it is always an honor to have you reading and critiquing my work. Your words of encouragement fuels my inner muse. Thank you for your time sir.


      • #5
        Hi, Odonko-ba, Your work is clearly getting bolder and better. I think you have gained confidence in yourself in just these few short weeks, and it shows. Congratulations on an inspiring piece.


        • #6
          Thanks MHenry. Truth be told, channeling my inner muse has been quite a challenge. But being here amongst you guys has brought out the best in me. I believe again. My sincere thanks for all the support and encouragement. F4L. Odonko-ba