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  • Ambiguous

    To a stranger, I sound most hideous
    listen longer and you'll see I'm serious
    the words come out sounding ambiguous
    I try to make sense for you, but I am ambitchuous

    Most of the time I should keep my mouth shut
    lest you call the men in white coats to come lock up this nut
    Don't call the police, they will also lock me up
    And I do not wish to learn criminal scuttlebutt smut

    I tried to stay with you,then looked right through you
    It was an accident that I withdrew
    but an idea came up and I drifted into the sky blue
    to bounce around memories of deja vu
    to match with other memories for a rendezvous
    Then I may drift back to the talking you
    and then ask the same question all anew.



  • #2
    This makes perfectly good sense to me, Brainwreck.
    I'm impressed with the sustained 'oo' rhyme of the last stanza. I like the inventiveness of 'ambitchuous' and 'criminal scuttlebutt smut' is brilliant.

    Comment


    • #3
      Grant Hayes, thank you for the compliment. I don't think I am brilliant, but I'll take it. The neologism, ambitchous, has been around me
      for years. Neologism is a symptom of some brain quirks. I also combine or totally skip forward.

      Comment


      • #4
        Nothing ambiguous here
        It's all perfectly clear

        Comment


        • Brainwreck
          Brainwreck commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you 1sided So I actually had a string of thoughts that is coherent.
          Last edited by Brainwreck; 04-13-2016, 11:50 AM.

      • #5
        Well said 1sided. I think your poems are about what you know, your struggles and so they touch the heart.

        Comment


        • Brainwreck
          Brainwreck commented
          Editing a comment
          I do have my struggles, just like everyone else, but, I also have a lot of fun.

      • #6
        Brain, your an earthy well grounded poet. I like that about you! Good job Brain!

        Comment


        • Brainwreck
          Brainwreck commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for your compliment, Boe. earthy....I like it. But, I take flight occasionally. I want to learn to soar.

      • #7
        Wow, thank you all. Did I mis-title this ditty. I am grounded or almost concrete. I will learn to fly as I learn more.

        Comment


        • #8
          I really identify with the jist of what you've written.
          this is REALLY GOOD!

          However you wrote a line that I disagree with:
          You wrote:

          I should keep my mouth shut

          And I think you should OPEN RIGHT UP!

          I'm gonna send you a private song I wrote...
          And hope that you can also identify with some of it.

          Your good at EXPRESSING YOUR EMOTIONS!

          So please do so...
          Very Good.
          Thanks.

          Comment


          • Brainwreck
            Brainwreck commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you, Billie Burd. It takes awhile to get the words to arrange themselves into proper order.

        • #9
          Hi, Brainwreck, Maybe part of your charm is your self-deprecation, and that's fine, but you have created some beautiful and memorable work that speaks for itself. You and your words are well-loved and respected on this forum, which, after all, is just a microcosm for the world-at-large.

          Comment


          • Brainwreck
            Brainwreck commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you, MH. I will keep on trying for better. I will also share some of the old. I did not write until age 55. I didn't talk till my
            20's. Too many other talkers. Also, my tongue gets tangled up. It is cool here. There are quite a few poems that
            go right over my head. Some I'll read again and again to try and make sense. Some, I know are way too high for me
            The girl who hated English and writing. I see I lack in vocabulary so I always open the dictionary when I come to the Zone.
            Thanks for your encouragement.

        • #10
          Brain wreck, this is really cool. Ambitchuous? Brilliant! This is the longest verse I've seen so far from you, and it is awesome!

          Comment


          • Brainwreck
            Brainwreck commented
            Editing a comment
            RLW, so glad you think it is cool. It is the truth. I have been a bit ambitchuous for years. I have more words
            that fell out in a tangle. I have a tendency to skip forward in speech and writing. I am often told that I just jumped
            out of the current conversation into another. Drives the family crazy. That's ok. Because I beat them there.

          • RhymeLovingWriter
            RhymeLovingWriter commented
            Editing a comment
            So that way - you can have the first word, as well as the last?

        • #11
          I dig this!

          Comment


          • Brainwreck
            Brainwreck commented
            Editing a comment
            DWAYNE, glad you dig. I will keep digging deeper to see what I can find.
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