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Devoid Of Meaning

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  • Devoid Of Meaning

    Devoid Of Meaning:

    I'm so sick of these silly words-
    Sentences devoid of meaning.
    I'm so done with writing nothing,
    Failed thoughts with more flawed feelings.

    I can't write, if it doesn't feel right,
    If my feelings are locked up tight.

    I can't express, with letters pressed-
    On colorless pages, about the spaces-
    I've never seen.
    I can't describe, the blue of the sky,
    The coral reefs, the green of trees,
    Or all these places I've never seen.

    It's all a lie, a written statement-
    Lacking solid proof.
    The things I rhyme, or have left behind-
    In unwritten lines, are hard to find,
    When there's no fulfilled truth.

    In punctuation still undone
    Commas, completely, omitted,
    Exclamation marks are missing!
    And question marks unfitted?
    These I hide behind,
    To write these silly rhymes,
    To spin this web of lies,
    To pretend that words are so much better,
    Than the world you've left behind.

    So, shift your eyes, from word to word.
    Assume that this is it.
    Read on, acting like--
    There's nothing deeper in this poem.
    Finish it, move on,
    Read at school, and home.
    Escape from life, into these lies,
    Through written worlds, roam.

  • #2
    Truth is a flexible thing when we're the correlative. Fulfillment is intimately centered around the person. I am impressed with this poem and yet I find my metaphorical shield raised. Theater, the arts, poetry, can be a lie but even in that possible lie there is truth. Whenever you note something as what it is not you also create what the opposite, the other, is. When something is defined as strong, than, the alternate is too defined and imprisoned with similar reasoning. I would not change a thing about this poem and liked the opportunity to comment. Good work.
    Last edited by J. Robert Marquis; 04-07-2016, 03:04 PM.


    • benjaminallentx
      benjaminallentx commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, J. Robert for your feedback.
      If you can't tell it's more about the struggle of writing, than the substance. I don't always want to make something up. But it's that force of the hand holding the pen that makes you write, it's pushing forward through rough patches of no inspiration.
      It's also that idea that we desire to turn away from reality to escapism through art. What kind of world do we live in that we more desire the worlds of Middle-Earth, Westoros, or Narnia, than our own?

  • #3
    I loved your poem.


  • #4
    At any moment or lifetime, we bodies live in manifold worlds - inner, outer, in-between, beyond, past, future - all woven and knotted along a spectrum, from the wordless Real to the coded Ideal.


    • benjaminallentx
      benjaminallentx commented
      Editing a comment
      You've answered poetry with more beautiful poetry. Thank you.

  • #5
    Any poem that makes me raise my armor and contemplate meaning has merit to me. What that means in the scope of the world and two strangers on the internet is anybodies guess. Grant Hayes, I will credit you, as the "wordless Real to the coded Ideal" is a damn fine quote. I want it.


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      You are most welcome to it, Robert. ☺

  • #6
    Hi Benjamin,
    More and more I am spotting in my own style of writing that I have become something of a creature of habit since I love rhyme and rhythm so much, and I am always drawn to the same rhyme patterns instinctively BUT YOUR STYLE HAS DRAWN ME IN and expanded my horizons! That is praise indeed! I have found myself deliberately looking for your work to see if I can analyse it for myself, because I usually always feel a bit lost when I read free verse and feel like I don't understand it or can't get inside the poets head, but I was really excited when I read your comment to J Robert Marquis explaining your thought process and realised that I had analysed it myself in the same way: I usually feel a bit thick, but I was totally on the same page! (I don't mean that to belittle you....I'm treating it as lifting me up!)
    I love the fact that you have used the lack of inspiration and written such a great piece, not despite the lack of inspiration, but because of it...the power that pen has in your hand is almost tangible. I'd love to be able to imitate your style but for now I am happy that you are broadening my appreciation and understanding of a greater variety of poem form. (Can I show my ignorance and ask if this poem form has a specific name or is it classed as free verse? To me it seems like somewhere between rhyme and free verse because of the amount of assonance and rhyme that you blend in, but I am totally uneducated in the 'technical' side of poetry and happy to learn )


    • benjaminallentx
      benjaminallentx commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, Smee.

      What wonderfully high praise you've given! I'm so incredibly flattered.
      Truthfully, I don't have any kind of scheme or rhythm most of the time. It starts off as something that might sound good, or feels good to be said. Or a certain combination of syllables that forms some sort of beauty for me.
      I read all the stuff you've posted and quite enjoyed it all! I'm planning to go back and comment and really inspect more.
      When it comes to form, I don't think you really NEED a form. I absolutely just go for it. Sometimes the verses make more sense to be separated. Sometimes I have a clear and concise form and structure I strive to follow.
      so, basically what I'm saying is, (and I know this is the cliché) follow your heart! You decide what sounds and looks the most pleasing to you. And practice.

      Once again, thank you so much.

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      ^ That's pretty much my process too, Benjamin. You've catalyzed a lot of discussion, which is great.

  • #7
    awesome point! I like the sentiment of your poem


    • benjaminallentx
      benjaminallentx commented
      Editing a comment
      I'm glad you like the sentiment! Reading back, in my mind the sentiment seems bitter. I was annoyed that I had writers block.
      But maybe you enjoy the bitterness!
      Thank you.

  • #8
    It's a complex poem, written on a complex topic... writing. There is nothing solid about language—any language, spoken or written—nothing but shifting sands because it is all arbitrary sound and marks on a page meant as nothing more than a symbolic reference to some intangible greater truth. So, in a way, we are all magicians... creating and recreating our experiences and our worlds.


    • benjaminallentx
      benjaminallentx commented
      Editing a comment
      What a beautiful thought you've had. Thank you for sharing!
      Unfortunately, though we can be magicians, we hardly ever see those really cool Wizard or Witch hats!

    • pipersfancy
      pipersfancy commented
      Editing a comment
      I received my invitation to Hogwarts just this morning in the mail! So, I'm certain your owl must be en route!

  • #9
    A nuanced expression, of a complex matter.


  • #10
    Hi, benjaminallentx, I am late to the party, but I would like to chime in. You have expressed sentiments many writers, including myself, have experienced, and you have expressed them in a poetic, accessible, and honest way. You have touched nerves, as you can see from the very involved and engaging comments your poem has engendered from some of Rhymezones most illustrious and talented poets. Congratulations on a fine write, and thanks for expressing your personal viewpoint about your work. I enjoyed it very much.


    • benjaminallentx
      benjaminallentx commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for your comments! To be completely honest with you, it wasn't really meant to be something deep. To me it was bitter sounding because I was desperate for something to write. And it was an itch at the back of my brain.

      A poem written out of writer's block.

      I'm so so glad to hear you enjoyed it.

  • #11
    I like your writer's block poem. Check out Sister Greed's poem Gold To The Brain. It is also from writers block and one of my favorites.
    Now I am scared of what will be in a poem that doesn't come from writer's block. Over my head.