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Entrance Of The Light

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  • Entrance Of The Light

    I tried to reach you Sunday
    but I felt too damn depressed
    and jumped into the shower
    even though I was still dressed.
    Not ready for confinement,
    I still feel there's time to find
    the problems that keep bruising
    my soft, swollen purple mind.

    There must be a veiled sunrise
    in my tortured memories
    still, I can't see a morning
    breaking through my thought's disease.
    Those who say I seek pity
    barely care to understand
    my sorrowful conclusion
    their love's buried in the sand.

    All I search for are reasons
    on how I became this way
    and, if I can't find answers,
    not much longer will I stay.
    I believe there's a mercy
    in the slaying of a plight
    when the only cure's waiting
    in the entrance of the light.


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    Last edited by Dee Camper; 05-02-2016, 03:16 AM.

  • #2
    <3 I really really like that rhyming pattern you have. It is the perfect balance of disorganized and organized, which is pretty much how living with a mental illness is like.
    Hope you have a good day today, but if you don't take care of yourself

    Comment


    • Dee Camper
      Dee Camper commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you very much, Vera_Ashton! I appreciate your reading and wish you a good day as well!

  • #3
    Strong images presented through beautiful and lyrical lines in this one, Dee. I found these lines most compelling:

    the problems that keep bruising
    my soft, swollen purple mind.

    There must be a veiled sunrise
    in my tortured memories

    I believe there's a mercy
    in the slaying of a plight
    when the only cure's waiting
    in the entrance of the light.

    What a unique voice you have, Dee. It's a gift to be able to share such important thoughts on a difficult topic, and provide a gentle reminder of the harshest reality so many people face in the form of mental health struggles. My oldest child suffers PTSD and has been actively struggling within that illness for about 4 years now. Self-harming and over-the-top anxiety keeps him from fully engaging in life, or enjoying many of the simple pleasures others might. Still, there is always hope, and the good days are celebrated and lived in abandon! Over time, I know the good will outweigh the bad... simply because... that's the way life is. It may be hard to imagine at times, but that is the truth. It's been what I have reminded myself as well, many times, in my own struggle with depression.

    Hugs!

    Comment


    • Dee Camper
      Dee Camper commented
      Editing a comment
      First, thank you very much, pipersfancy! Second, how old is your oldest? I ask because I've suffered agoraphobia, PTSD and clinical depression since I was 16 (Strangely, it went away the for 4 years I was in college and came back with a vengeance!) and MANY times wanted to end the suffering. With a mom as understanding and wise as you though, I'm sure your oldest is doing very well considering! I'm so sorry you also suffer depression; It's like being half alive in my opinion (adding agoraphobia and PTSD...UGHHH). Pipersfancy, I do appreciate you very much! HUGS AND LOVE

  • #4
    That was amazing Dee. As Vera put it, it is the uneasy between the organised and the disorganised that takes you to the edge. "still, I can't see a morning
    breaking through my thought's disease." Where the reader wants to jump out and then its this very slick draw back to. " I believe there's a mercy
    in the slaying of a plight
    when the only cure's waiting
    in the entrance of the light." That just takes my breathe away with its candidness.
    Amazed

    Comment


    • Dee Camper
      Dee Camper commented
      Editing a comment
      What a wonderful comment/compliment, letsbfrank! You, like the others, have great insight to the meanings of my writes. I post on facebook, but many of my friends just don't seem to understand the meaning. Because of you and everyone else I've met on here, I may stop posting on Facebook (except in poetry sites where they're understood) and post here instead. I'm wanting to spend more time here as I keep meeting new people and do MUCH more reading here! THANK YOU AGAIN!

  • #5
    Well Dee you so deserve it - your writing is spectacular. I know what you mean it is great little community. And I cant go past saying that most of that is because of piper she is wonderful.

    Comment


    • Dee Camper
      Dee Camper commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you very much letsbfrank! I agree piper is an extraordinary lady!

  • #6
    Hey Dee, I was looking for your poems and found this one. It's beautiful! I mentioned you in my poem about all the wonderful poets here and I said you were like quiet dynamite. I work in a hospital for children with mh problems and it's heartbreaking what people go through. Love your beautiful spirit that comes out in your poetry.

    Comment


    • Dee Camper
      Dee Camper commented
      Editing a comment
      What a beautiful compliment, AlexandratheLate; Thank you! I'm looking forward to reading your write(s) as your works are wonderful as well!!

  • #7
    So much beauty in a subject the doesn't allow beauty most of the time. I emphasize with. I have taken off my shoes and glasses and got in the shower fully dressed.

    Comment


    • Dee Camper
      Dee Camper commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so very much, Brainwreck! It's as if the water spraying down might revive the energy and happiness that use to exist in another life.

  • #8
    Wow - the beginning of that first verse "sang" to me and I realized it's vaguely reminiscent of Sister Goldenhair by America - with your own unique twist. Even though you're dealing with difficulty - there is a real sense of hope at the end. Kudos!

    Comment


    • Dee Camper
      Dee Camper commented
      Editing a comment
      RhymeLovingWriter, you're absolutely right; 'Sister Goldenhair' was going through my mind when I wrote this (often when I write, some song is playing inside my head. I just can't seem to help that). Thank you so much for reading and I'm thrilled you liked it!

  • #9
    Hi, Dee, Mental illness, resistant to repair, is one of the most debilitating things we must bear. Whether a temporary depression, a clinical depression, or a cocktail of brain twisting maladies, it can make every day a dark one, where the sun is just a harsh and unwelcome intruder. You have packed some powerful images and ideas into this thought-provoking, well-written poem. Thank you for posting.

    Comment


    • Brainwreck
      Brainwreck commented
      Editing a comment
      Oh, I love your comment.,,,,resistant to repair......brain twisting maladies.....unwelcome intruder.....debilitating.
      You have a good poem in this comment. You should hurry, I like your words.
      Last edited by Brainwreck; 04-16-2016, 06:58 PM.

    • Dee Camper
      Dee Camper commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so very much, MHenry! I agree with Brainwreck, your words are EXTREMELY though-provoking, powerful and very original! You're comment isn't suppose to be more poetic than my write...LOL. Seriously, thank you again!

  • #10
    I am back. I love your poem. ....thought's disease...with the cure waiting at the entrance of the light.
    Agoraphobia, on the inside looking out, but not going out. This introvert was robbed of her words since childhood.
    I am just stepping out.
    There are so many talented writers here. You are one. Most of the others have already commented.
    Very cool poem for the blue and the one's with co-morbid mental ills.
    I can write about mental ills, but you made it beautiful. How'd you do that?
    And your smiling picture, is that a break in between or is that your game face that we learn to wear..for short periods?


    Last edited by Brainwreck; 04-16-2016, 06:57 PM.

    Comment


    • Dee Camper
      Dee Camper commented
      Editing a comment
      Dear Brainwreck, I am, embarrassingly, agoraphobic. I am also PTSD and have clinical depression (rough teenage years with a lot of drama). Truth is I'm saddened about being abandoned by family (especially my son) who just don't understand and find me embarrassing. I guess that's why I haven't celebrated or been invited to join family for holidays. I could be on many medications, but I've refused all but one and I don't drink. I guess not being a drinker and the very real possibility that, sometime during an event, I may break out in a sweat that crumbles me to the ground with difficulty breathing can be a downer at any event. I try to reach family members with these type of writes (I have many more but have been told how depressing I am.....smile picture of me helps offset that). My son won't drive the seven miles to see me on my B-day (4-17) and his &quot;Happy Birthday&quot; texts just break my heart! What you found as &quot;beautiful&quot; is really my sadness but I LOVE that you, and hopefully others, find it beautiful; I strive very hard not to be a depressing person in hopes to be accepted. I have 'happy' writes I plan to share on here as well as my pre-written sadder pieces soon. THANK YOU AGAIN!
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