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I think.

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  • I think.

    Honestly may be the most personally introspective and revealing poem (if you can even call it that) I've ever written.
    Critiques welcome and encouraged!

    I Think:

    I think that I can't write anything without you in it.
    I think you poison my pages, I adore it.

    I think I might have a fit, I might break a wall,
    I might not leave my house standing.
    I think I might leave the windows standing.

    I think I might hear sounds I wasn't meant to.

    I think I'll take a drive over the edge of the town,
    And take a dive into an ocean of pleasantries.

    I think I might spit out some awful thoughts,
    I might write them down and spell them out,
    I would rather not only hear the words.

    I might throw my phone and call it later on.

    I think I forgot how you used to speak to me.
    I think you forgot too.

    I think I keep a part of myself at home.
    I keep the other part in the glove box.
    I think it helps keep my ideas of you separate.

    I think I think too much about things sometimes.
    I think those are my second thoughts.

    I think I might decide against my second thoughts.
    I might even decide against the thirds.

    I might decide I'm more poisonous than venomous.
    I think I'm a sip of coffee searing your insides.

    I think I'm lost, I can't decide where I am.
    I think I'm happier being lost on my own,
    Than being found in arms I don't want around me.

    I think there's a certain scent on the wind.
    A mixture of your perfume and a forest fire.

    I think the burning of my lungs is my favorite feeling.

    I think I write too much and talk too little.
    I think it helps me keep track of my movements.

    I think a walk sounds like a good idea.
    But I think I might forget how to run.
    And I think I might need to run for my own sake.

    I think I miss you more than I miss myself.
    I think you probably miss me more now I'm here.

    I think you probably think less of me now.
    I think it affects my breathing and sense of right.

    I don't think I want to be me, if we can't be we.

    I think you think there's much more than there is.
    I think you're wrong.

    I think I can see the end of the world.
    But it may just be the sun setting.
    I think it's time for a new start.

    I think I want to think less.
    I think it will make things easier.
    Last edited by benjaminallentx; 06-30-2016, 07:02 PM.

  • #2
    I'd also be really curious to hear some feedback on this!


    • #3
      BA, I think this is a fabulous confessional poem. Many lines are TRULY outstanding. Given its length, have you thought about organizing it in sections, or themes?. There is also a tremendous and mounting cascade of images, a bombardment that works very well. effects should be affects. I Love the last 2 lines.


      • benjaminallentx
        benjaminallentx commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you very much. Confessional poem is a very good choice of words to describe it.
        I honestly haven't. I don't think I could bring myself to separate it. It was written line by line as my genuine thoughts occurred over the span of a few days.

        I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed it. (Can't believe I used the wrong affects/effects, I have brought shame to my family and all my English teachers)

    • #4
      I think this is tremendous, Benjamin. It is both entertaining and moving, charming and very insightful. There are so many choice turns of phrase. Bravissimo!


      • benjaminallentx
        benjaminallentx commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you, Grant. It's a poetic thing. But not particularly poem-like in my opinion. But it means much to me so I'm glad to share!

      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        I think of all my shares as 'poetic things', Benjamin; I use the term 'poems' loosely, and mainly for the sake of convenience. So I hear ya.

    • #5
      Hi, bj, I think this is truly fantastic! It is such a complete and honest exhalation of pent-up, mixed up emotions, that it compels reading until the very end. It never exhausts because it is so honest and conflicted. It is raw, genuine human emotion and you can't get that in a store! This is exceptional work, and all the more poignant for me, because one of my children is suffering like this, and his expression of his pain, to be kind, is not nearly so poetic (although it is epic!).