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pin drop me

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  • pin drop me

    Concentration
    eludes
    like whispers in
    a crowded room
    straining to hear
    conversations
    more captivating
    than one
    you just silenced
    eavesdropping
    pin dropping
    Pin,
    drop me
    Pin,
    drop me
    Pin drop me
    in
    the alley
    with llama’s
    sweet honeymoon
    strike up
    the band
    play a note
    or two
    close down
    the joint
    now just
    me and you


  • #2
    Lyrical Suz-zen. I especially like 'play a note or two
    close down
    the joint
    now just
    me and you'

    kind of the oldie 'Bogie and Bacall'. Nicely done.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      aw, thank you ALT! I like the comparison of Bogie and Bacall!... believe it or not parts of this came to me in a dream a few nights ago with music... kind of sweet and lyrical. I tired to write it like the music i heard and the feelings I experienced in the dream... the line that kept playing and I awoke to and could not shake was ' pin, drop me...' almost like you could hear a pin drop... Or i wanted to be pin dropped into something???

  • #3
    You write from the heart, Suz-zen. And you have found how to touch the reader's heart as well.
    It seems like you often seek a personal connection with someone or something in your poetry.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      it is the only way I really find to write that is easy (?)
      this personal connection was , as noted in comment to ALT ephemeral, if you will... this happens.
      those pesky portals....thank MHenry if I touched your heart i am glad!!
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