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The Boing Boing Boing Needs to Boom Boom Boom!

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  • The Boing Boing Boing Needs to Boom Boom Boom!

    The Boing Boing Boing Needs to Boom Boom Boom!
    A Fnippaa-Zwoonk-P000ingggg by Wolf Larsen

    Warning: some sexual imagery. If you are against sex, or very religious, please stop reading. Thank you for your understanding.


    Just when you think you have found the ground it disappears on you! You can flacka flacka flacka with the schmip-fwaap-whoops, but then what soda pop to drink? Achooo! But even then the blam blam blam goes f00pedy-doo with your shoe. And that’s bad, which is good!

    So too many penises are not the answer! Because too many penises are the answer!

    And that’s why I’d like to announce: GaZackaClackaBoiing! Poing Poing Poing!

    Because there’s not enough toilet paper! Because there’s not enough milk! Because the strawberries in your penis!

    So let’s sing a disco church choir to all the big penis walruses in the sea! So let’s dwaddle a fnoopy with a Scilly do bop! You know what I mean?

    We need more slogans! We need more feet for all the people! More pedophile priests for all the hallelujah! More battleships for the fish! More scrambled eggs for all the clouds!

    More sadness! More blood! More sneezes!

    Without more sneezes how can we bless the food?

    More noble peace prizes for war criminals, for how else can we wipe our asses? Because if we don’t wipe our donkeys with toilet paper then we can use the rich man’s money from the bailouts to wipe our donkeys!

    Vote for more asses! Vote for more elephants! Vote for more fish in the sea!

    An ass for President! An ass for noble peace prize! A black ass is more progressive than a white ass!

    Fuck your birds! Fuck your airplanes! Play margarine with all your sexy feet! Because if millions of madmen are not kissing your sexy feet then how can we save the world from terrorists?? The terrorists are threatening the supply of toilet paper! Did you know that? Huh? I bet you didn’t know that! Code orange! Code blue! Code pee in your pants! Let’s spy on everybody now! Why not? I have a rock in my shoe!

    Do you prefer a big fat elephant with white skin? Or do you prefer an ass with black skin? How about an ass with a vagina? How about a Latino elephant? What, you didn’t know that elephants could be Latino?

    But I lost my give a fuck on Mars! I lost my give a fuck trying to have anal sex with an ostrich on Pluto. Pluto is where there’s lots of toilet paper, lots & lots of toilet paper! I like toilet paper! I will wait in line for hours & hours to buy toilet paper! Down with the terrorists and their plans to destroy American values of lots & lots of toilet paper! Diabetes now! Have a cup/can/bottle of diabetes and a smile!

    So a big hug for “socialist” slogans to kiss the ass of an ass! So a big immaculate conception for capitalism! Give me herpes now! Give me leprechauns riding unicorns! Vote for the feet fetish party! Why don’t we have a feet fetish party?? It’s time for a feet fetish party!

    Do you have enough toenails for your feet? Do you have enough foreclosures on your street? Do you have two elbows? How about a yacht? Would you like a military intervention with that? Let’s blow up all the pelicans with predator drones, now now now! I hate pelicans!

    What if you suddenly grew a penis between your legs, and you forgot your vagina at home? What if they raised the minimum wage to $20 million a year? Which is what my boss makes for playing golf and fucking his secretary. I wonder how my boss’s golf game is going? Has he given his pretty secretary herpes yet?

    These are the questions which all of the froooping frogs in the rainforest want to know. They want to know so bad! It’s time for more political speeches! More political speeches to all the froooping frogs in the rainforest! More sewer covers for all the clouds! More traffic lights for all the newborn babies! How else do you expect gravity to disappear??

    F00ka-Muuka-Schnnuuunnuuukaa!

    You know what I mean?!


    Copyright 2015 by Wolf Larsen


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    Last edited by Samanthap; 01-27-2016, 02:44 PM.

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